Thursday, April 23, 2009

Paging Dr. Amber

Two days ago, I felt a little phlegm in my throat and I told Sean I was going to get sick.
Yesterday, my throat was a little sore.
Last night, my neck felt like it couldn't support my head and I was rapidly developing a sinus headache.
This morning, I felt like my body was its normal size and my head was a Goodyear blimp. Stuffy, achy, sneazy, runny — you know the drill.

So I did what I always do. I broke out the patented "Amber Cure-All for Common Head Cold." Now, I don't think any of this is enlightening, but I swear, I always follow this regimen and I'm never sick for longer than two-to-three days (just watch; I'll be sick for a month now that I said that).

When I wake up with a sore throat, I start small. These are practically industrial-strength Vick's cough drops, and they really do soothe fairly quickly. Now, that doesn't mean I can turn around and eat Tostitos or popcorn. It just means I can swallow slightly better.

If I have to go somewhere, or stay alert for most of the day, then I pop a Sudafed. I hate swallowing pills, so the teeny tiny Sudafed is awesome for me. Funnily enough, whenever I give Sean a Sudafed, he gets worse. Whatevs.

If I don't have to be anywhere important, then I bust out the Dayquil. Supposedly, Dayquil is non-drowsy. But, as my friends and family can attest, there is no such thing as "non-drowsy" for me. EVERYTHING knocks me out. I used to have fever dreams on Dimetapp!

I once came home from school, gave myself some Dimetapp and laid down on the couch for a nap. When my mother woke me up at 8 for dinner, I freaked out, insisted we were missing school and demanded she make me breakfast because I thought it was 8 a.m. the following day. She literally had to talk me down. So that's why I can only take Dayquil when I don't have to be at work. I took some today and multiple times, my head just kind of collapsed backward while I was sitting on the couch. But it works; my neck and throat still hurt a little, but I feel way better.

ALSO: If you're like me, and you get insanely achy, try the Thermocare heating pads for neck and shoulders. It really works, at least temporarily, and they sell a sample size for $2.99.

This part is crucial: tomato soup (I like mine with a little parmesan). Forget chicken noodle; tomato soup is smooth, creamy, filling and can easily be dressed up or dressed down. It also doesn't have creepy, tiny chunks of chicken that you have to go fishing to find. If you're really stuffy, try chicken tortilla soup (I especially love the soup at Cheddar's); the spices will definitely clear those nasal passages.

Finally, I skip the herbal tea with the honey and lemon that everyone always suggests. That's all fine and well, but chai is so much more decadent and deliciouso. ESPECIALLY when served in my beloved "Elvis Lives" mug from Graceland.

The only other tip I have: double fist orange juice and water throughout the day. I don't know why I think that works; it just makes me feel better, like I have control over the situation.

So, what are your superstitious get-better-quick tips? What did mom always do for you when your throat hurt or your tummy ached?


Aliya said...

Feel better soon, Ambers! :)

Kate said...

For my mom, it's all about the hot tea and a bath. Now for Sean, that just doesn't count, since he drinks it all the time... or he did when he lived at home.

She's also big on Ginger Ale for tummy aches and Aspirin for any and all illnesses - head aches, body aches, cramps, fever... anything. The other family cure-all that has nothing to do with an illness is Noxzema. Any skin ailment you can possibly think of, Noxzema will cure it. I highly recommend it, at least for Irish skin. :)

theshe said...

Justin is a little sicky-man right now. Part of my nighttime ritual these days is drinking a piping hot cup of Celestial Seasonings' "Sleepytime" chamomile tea with honey, but last night, I made Justin a cup, too, in hopes of soothing his inflamed sinuses.

It was so cute - I asked him if he liked the tea, because I'd never seen him drink it before. Turns out his mom used to make him the exact same thing when he was sick as a child!

I know, I'm being gross, but it made me all "Awwwwwwww-wwww!" to know that I was takin' care of him like his momma once did. Aww. Domestication.

In other news, I can't take Dayquil or Nyquil. They anger my temperamental kidneys. If you're a smoker, smoking menthols really helps with a head cold! ...I'm the worst doctor ever.

Joe said...

It's always good to drink lots of water ... helps keep you hydrated and flushes stuff out, I guess. And everyone's always saying that garlic has antibiotic properties. So maybe put some garlic in the tomato soup? And spicy stuff helps clean out the sinuses.

Amber said...

Dayquil and Nyquil always work for me, but I'm very prone to crazy Nyquil dreams/nightmares.

Sara said...

I was recently horribly allergy sick. When you are the kind of sick where you aren't hungry but your throat just needs to be soothed, I eat a little ice cream. I know dairy is supposed to add to phlegm, but I think a little of the cold really helps. Also, Disney movies and lying on the couch. It brings back the whole elementary school sick day feeling.

Unknown said...

I was tempted to watch Dora the Explorer; that's always better when doped up on cough medication.