An Itty Bitty Kitchen Fire

Well, I officially know how to use a fire extinguisher now.

Let's back up. I've been struggling a little to adjust to my circa-1981 kitchen and the original oven/stovetop. As readers know, I only learned how to cook in the past five years on a brand new oven, so I certainly am still learning the quirks and rhythms of this one that's older than I am! On Saturday, I learned the hard way that the front burner gets hot...REALLY REALLY hot...faster than I expected.

I was home alone making stew, and after finishing all my prep work, I was finally ready to brown the meat. Usually, that means I've heated some cooking oil (vegetable, typically) on high heat to sear the meat quickly, then simmer with broth. I put 3 tablespoons of cooking oil in the pot and turned the burner on to mid-high heat. I turned my back to do something else while I waited for it to heat up and then I heard a crackle sound. I returned to the oven to see the pot was engulfed in flames that were getting bigger and bigger, climbing up to the microwave mounted above the stove.

You always wonder how you'll react in moments like that. My split-second thoughts were:

1. Omigod we're about to lose our house and it's up to me to save it.
2. Can you put out an oil fire with water? Maybe I should try to move the pot across the kitchen to the water source...that sounds like a bad and dangerous idea.
3. I should Google this...WAIT THERE IS NO TIME TO GOOGLE THIS.
4. I could try the fire extinguisher.

I now know that apparently the best thing to do is to cover the pot back up with its lid, if it has one, to extinguish the flames. Believe it or not, this is my first kitchen fire ever, so that option didn't even occur to me. So instead, I grabbed one of our fire extinguishers, pulled the pin and after a few minutes of struggling, squirted dry chemical ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE. I put out the fire, but damn if I didn't also make our entire living room look like the surface of the moon.

For the first few seconds, I was relieved the fire appeared to be out, but then the smoke began to spread through the house like a dense fog. I made my way across the house to the fire alarm, which was now blaring, and could not find the button to disarm it. I was starting to cough and even though I was pretty sure I had extinguished the fire, I decided I could no longer be inside the house and, to be better safe than sorry, I called 911. Another first!!

My former stock pot, now an endless black hole.

It seemed like the fire department sent the whole calvary and they used their super industrial fans to clear the smoke, which was very helpful because we don't even have any fans. I kept it together until Sean arrived home from work and I burst into tears as soon as I saw him. Only then did I realize how truly scary those few minutes had been when I really didn't know what to do or what would happen to our new home.

The nice firefighters were all very kind and one said that if I hadn't used the fire extinguisher and had instead just waited for them to come, they would have been removing our charred kitchen cabinets from the walls. Luckily the only real damages were my pride and my stock pot. That thing is dunzo.

A thick layer of dry chemical. Yay!

We proceeded to spend our ENTIRE Saturday night cleaning dust from every corner of the kitchen and living room. We deep-cleaned in a way we have never cleaned! The firefighters said we'll be finding that dust for years, and although I'm sure they're right, the idea of that kept me motivated as I vacuumed and cleaned my way through the night. 

It was such a small fire, but it was still super shocking, and now I am really, really unsure what to expect with this oven. The firefighters said nothing appeared to be wrong with it...it just got really hot really fast and "shit happens." A watched pot never boils, but I tell you what, I'll be watching everything like a hawk!

The Tale of the Lip Smacker Disaster

Let me tell you about the Great Lip Smacker Disaster of 2013. It's a cautionary tale I hope you'll all take to heart.

A week ago, I started our clothes dryer and I could hear that tell-tale banging sound of something decidedly NOT fabric. I immediately opened the door and rummaged through the clothes, feeling around for something hard, but my hands came up empty. So, I shrugged and moved on with my life.

BIG MISTAKE.

It was only when my load of laundry — full of my newest clothes, most for work — finished that I found the source of the clanging. A completely melted (I'm talking an empty tube) of Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker fell on the floor and I groaned.

Have you ever had one of those moments where it feels like you're watching a movie and the camera just zoomed back and suddenly you see the full scene and it's so much worse than you originally noticed? That was me looking at this load of laundry. At first, I noticed a couple grease stains and thought some Oxyclean spray could take care of business. But then I started noticing the red spots. Everywhere. On all the clothes. It was a sad day; after spot treating and rewashing the load, I still had to throw away about 5 items of clothing, including a favorite dress.

I can laugh about it now (I mean, how many 28-year-olds ruin their laundry with a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker?), but lesson learned: TRIPLE check your pockets before you start your laundry. I'm usually pretty good about it, but I forgot one pocket in one dress and paid the price.

How about you? What's your absolute worst laundry disaster? This isn't my first; I shrunk a merino wool sweater of Sean's down to American Girl size. Oops!

Facing My Puppy Fear

When my friend Ashleigh asked me last week if I could dog-sit her puppy Roscoe, I immediately said yes. I didn't have plans for Saturday, and I always like to help my friends if I can. But then my nerves set in.

Something you probably don't know about me: I am a bonafide cat person to a bit of a crazy degree. I don't dislike doggies, per se; I just have so little experience with them and their unique brand of unconditional love. I never had a dog growing up, so I just don't know what to expect when I'm around them and it's always hard for me to set aside my own uncomfortableness with rambunctious playing and wet kisses when I'm around my friends' doggies. 

And that's exactly why I thought it was high time I face my fears and spend several hours, alone, with a puppy. 

I was feeling okay about dog-sitting until received the doggie daycare dossier from Ash, with an incredibly intimidating list of the puppy's likes and dislikes, mannerisms, vocabulary and schedule. So much to remember! Most cat owners have never had to say, "Go potty" to convince their cat to unload...this was going to be a new experience for both of us!

Luckily, we both survived the day. It was quite an eye-opener...people aren't kidding when they say a puppy is training wheels for a baby. I couldn't believe how much attention cute Roscoe needed! I spent most of the day either feeding him, walking him, playing with him to tire him out, letting him nap on my lap and repeating the whole routine. 

We did have a couple accidents...almost every time I turned my back, either to make myself lunch or go to the bathroom, he decided it was time to pee under my dining table. When I left him on the couch, he started whining, because his pitiful little legs can't make the jump to the floor!

But all in all, we had the most lovely day together. There's really nothing like having a living thing to care for who demands your attention, and I'm glad I faced my fear of doggie caregiving. When we came inside after Ashleigh took him home, I noted with surprise to Sean, "I miss Roscoe!" In other words, I want a kitten really desperately.

Domestication Update: Buttons be Damned!

When I started this blog, it was to document my forays into becoming something like a wife, rather than the bachelorette/feral cat I had been for most of my life. I'm happy to report that I've progressed from a real fear of raw meat to making meatloaf, and from a I'll-buy-new-underwear-to-avoid-laundry situation to a regular laundry schedule. Heck, I even put my laundry away!

But all that progress came to a head last week when I was reminded just how far I have to go. I was brought to my knees when I realized ... drumroll, please ... I still don't really know the right way to sew a button.

 

This is a shank button. Instead of having two or four holes, it just has a loop in the back. This makes it inherently a little flopsy, and the likelihood it will fall off (especially if sewn on by tiny Malaysian children) is high.

My hubby was in a rush the other day and had to dress nice. You can imagine my panic when one of his buttons popped off and I had to frantically fix the problem. I realized, HOLY CRAP. I still don't know how to sew on buttons! 

Obviously, I get the basic idea, but I never know how to knot it or how to tie off or how to be sure it's really on there for good. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, hunting down my Martha Stewart Encyclopedia of Sewing and dammit if that bitch didn't even have a paragraph about sewing buttons by hand! I think she thinks I'm supposed to know this stuff or something?! Sean suggested I YouTube it and I waved away his suggestion, muttering, "No time! NO TIME!"

Long story short, I frantically just started sewing, got that bad boy back on the jacket and managed to get my husband out the door without looking like he was a laid off bank executive living in a Hooverville.

It was a good reminder that despite all the progress I've made, I still have lessons to learn. Oh, and if you're curious, here's how you sew a shank button:

The good news is, that's close to what I did, operating purely by instinct. Whew!

Sewing: The Next Frontier

Longtime readers of this blog know that I'm not the kind of person who took home ec. Although I was probably the perfect candidate for the course, I scoffed at it because I thought I was going to be a working woman who was unconcerned with domestic matters. HA! Who did I think I was? First of all, cooking, cleaning and sewing are way more complicated than almost anything I do in my professional career and second of all, they're skills that enable you to save more of that hard-earned cash. Plus, how crucial was it that I use one of my elective credits on an upper level math elective that almost killed my GPA?

Two years ago, I started this blog as a way to document my efforts to learn to cook and was stunned when, in about the span of two months, I had basically learned how to cook. There are still plenty of challenges I haven't tackled yet, but I get the basic gist.

So I thought it was time to move on to another skill that eludes me: sewing. Sewing is so technical and demands so much skill and focus that it actually scares me. But I went ahead and asked for a sewing machine for Christmas, and received the one you see above: the Singer Heavy Duty machine.

On Sunday, I took the machine out of its box and put it together. I was actually laughing to keep from crying when it took me the better part of two hours to properly thread the machine. I don't expect to become an expert seamstress, and I'm pretty sure there are many blogs that explain sewing WAY BETTER than I ever could, but I do want to document some of the projects I tackle as I go.

So far: I've learned how to sew a buttonhole...kind of. I'm still not sure I'm using that feature correctly.

I hope you'll all speak up and give your best advice, share tutorials that have helped you and just generally be the supportive friends I'll need in this endeavor!

Bathroom Door: Closed or Open?

Photo from Overstock.

Alright, y'all, let's talk about intimacy. I'm not talking about that kind of intimacy...I'm talking about how intimate you have to be in your relationship before it's okay to use the bathroom in front of your mate/spouse/significant other.

I brought this up in conversation yesterday and everybody was like, "Oh yeah, of course I leave the door open." To which, I must ask: am I the only prude who is completely averse to this? 

I'm just wayyyyyyy too private to sit around talking to my husband while he's using the bathroom and vice versa. Besides, when would I get my reading done? (LOL). I will admit, we are blessed to have two bathrooms and that helps.

People have told me they grew up in the kind of households where you talk to your parents while they use the bathroom, and I've also heard that when you become a parent, the idea of closing the door vanishes with all your other inhibitions. 

So my question is this: Am I really the only one who believes firmly in a closed-door policy? Are all of you dropping deuces with an audience? Is this definitely the crudest thing I've ever brought up on the blog? I still say it counts as domestication. 

Electricity-Free Entertainment

Photo of Irene from NASA

It's possible that come this weekend, I will be hunkering down for my first hurricane. Technically, it's my second; I was evacuated from school in 2003 when Isabel hit Virginia. But this time, it's totally different.

This time, I'm a reporter and my husband works on a copy desk, so we have to be on hand to report on any news that comes out of any potential storm. Rather than make plans to go out of town for the weekend, I actually went to Target and bought nonperishable foods, a cooler, and some other necessities, like YooHoo. 

When Isabel hit, Hampton Roads lost power for about two weeks. I can't really fathom that, but if you, like me, might lose power this weekend (or any time), I thought I'd share some suggestions on how to pass the time:

• Clean out your magazine collection. Any picture that looks pretty goes in your "future collage project" folder. Cut out flowers and put them on the wall, a la Idgie in Fried Green Tomatoes.
• Pull out the board games!
• Tackle that DIY project that's been on the backburner forever
• Don't bother waiting for NanoWrimo month...start your novel now.
• Write letters to your future children (Seriously, why not? My mom gave me a letter when I turned 16 that she had written in 1986.)
• Clean out the closet and put together the most massive "giveaway" pile ever. Some people might need that stuff once the storm is over.
• If you have a working CD player/iPod, take this moment, THIS MOMENT, to choreograph a signature dance. Why the hell not?
• Master the art of curling your hair with no heat. Learn to french braid!

New Uses for Common Items

Since I joined Pinterest, I'm always finding the cleverest "Real Simple"-style new uses for common items. I have yet to actually use any of these tips, but I thought I'd share some of the ones that really blew me away:

Use a hanger to store glasses/sunglasses!

Use a pull tab to hang art!

Use rain gutters as small bookshelves!

Use a tension rod to store spray bottles!

Or, use tension rods to create the perfect slots for platters, cutting boards and pans.

How about you guys? Any super clever use/reuse tricks up your sleeves?

DIY Tie-Dye Napkins

Yesterday, while everyone was dying their Easter eggs, I decided to finally tackle a project I planned to do this time last year. I had this vision of tie-dyed dinner napkins in shades of blue. I wanted them to look sophisticated, but lighthearted -- perfect for summer barbecues. But like many of my projects, they ended up on the back burner last year.

As I so often find out, the idea was not that revolutionary. A quick Google search led me to several versions of exactly what I had in mind, like this set from Good Housekeeping.

The project itself took about 4 hours, but that included an hourlong discussion with my mom and at least 30 minutes of watching TV. It's a little work-intensive, but totally fun to see the results. You will need:

• Plain white dinner napkins (I bought two sets of 8 from World Market, for $16)
• RIT dye (costs about $2)
• Rubber gloves
• Rubber bands
• Buckets
• A couple mixing bowls

Step 1: Wash napkins to remove any treatments.

Step 2: Tie napkins with string or rubber bands. I used this AWESOME guide to figure out how to make different patterns in the napkins.

Step 3: Prepare the dye. Fill a mixing bowl with about 2 cups of hot water and add your dye powder, then stir to mix it well. Add the dye mixture to a bucket filled with 3 gallons of hot water. I put both of my buckets (one for each color of dye) in the tub for easy cleaning. If you have a laundry room sink or basement sink, that would be even more ideal.

Step 4: Wet the Napkins. I put the tied-up napkins in another mixing bowl of hot water.

Step 5: Soak in the dye. Drop the napkins into the dye and leave in for at least 7 minutes. The hotter the water, the better the dye will set, and the longer you leave it in, the deeper the color will be. If I could do anything differently, I would have let them soak an eensy bit longer.

Step 6: Set the Dye. Once you remove the napkins from the dye, immediately squeeze out any loose dye, then rinse under water, gradually turning from hot to cold, until the water runs clear. Set aside. Some sites recommend leaving the fabric alone to dry, letting the dye really set. I was a bit too impatient, and if I did it again, I'd leave them alone overnight.

When you are done rinsing all the napkins, pour out the dye (slowly so it doesn't stain the tub or sink!!) and immediately clean the tub with some cleaner containing bleach.

Step 7: Cut the rubber bands off. This is the most fun part! You simply use scissors to cut off the rubber bands, then unfold to see your design! Super fun.

Step 8: Wash and Dry. Wash the napkins with a mild detergent in warm water. You can do this in the machine, but fair warning: the dye will fade in the first washing. I was a little disappointed at how much it faded, but I still think it worked for my vision. Tumble dry low.

And voila! Completed napkins ready for summer!

I think they would make excellent gifts, especially tied up around a nice set of salad servers or with a set of napkin rings (I still don't have any!). 

All told, the project cost me $20; I already had the buckets, gloves, rubber bands and mixing bowls. Compare that to $6 each for these tie-dye napkins from Uncommon Goods. 

Now I'm thinking of all the other things I could elegantly tie-dye ... tableclothes, plain white IKEA curtains, duvets, etc. I'm also hoping to try the ombre effect at some point.

The Greatest Scissors I've Ever Seen

I just ordered a pair of these scissors, called "scizzas," from Dreamfarm, an amazing Australian design firm that specializes in cool kitchen tools. The scizza has one side that sits flat while the other blade cuts, making it perfect for pizza, fabric, wrapping paper and the like. I am terrible at cutting straight and the moment I saw it, I knew it was for me. For $17, I'll be cutting pretty.

Before you wonder why I would pay shipping from Australia, let me introduce you to another cool thing. Design Story collects the greatest design products in the world and sells them at a discount to members who join their site. It's sort of like Mint or Gilt for home products, and it's free to join. I joined a while back but this is the first item I've purchased. 

P.S. If you'd like to get an invitation to Design Story (which would earn me some points!), send me an e-mail at amberfiona(at)gmail.

Resolutions

I honestly can't remember where this picture came from, but it reminded me of the Times Square ball.

This year, I feel like I have more resolutions than ever. Of course, most of them won't be realized, so I'm going to try to focus on just a few:

1. Better Food Management: I want to be throwing away less food, buying less lunch and making more effort toward eating breakfast.
2. Basic Sewing Skills: By the end of 2011, I want to be able to sew a button. If I'm really ambitious, pillow covers.
3. Good Cleaning Habits: Right now, my cleaning habits consist of manic scrubbing when I'm expecting a guest. Otherwise, I live about a step above a college-aged boy.
4. Trying Things That Scare Me: This includes food items (mushrooms!), projects (making a headboard!) and big stuff (figuring out a savings plan).

I'm happy to have something as big as the wedding out of the way, but since I became a Mrs., I've been preoccupied with ideas about new projects to tackle. What are you hoping to accomplish this year?

Repairing Tarnished Brass

You might recall that I picked up this little brass bowl at a yard sale for $1 a couple weeks ago. When I picked it up, I loved the shape and thought it would make a great vase for flowers, decorative item or jewelry holder. But as you can see, it was pretty badly tarnished, nearly black in person, and the woman who was selling it took a look at it and frowned before saying "I'll give it to you for a dollar."

The inside color is gorgeous, and my hopes were to clean it up so the outside looked just as good. Let's just say we ALMOST got there.

I did a little internet snooping around and came up with a plan of action that I would recommend if you have any interest in fixing up tarnished brass (which is super trendy right now; every single damn shirt I've bought this year has brass beads).

First, wash thoroughly in hot soapy water. Dry completely. This is what the bowl looked after that process; a little better, but not quite there.

Then, create a paste out of vinegar, salt and flour.

Apply the paste to the bowl like you're icing a cake and let it sit for about an hour.

Rinse off the paste and dry thoroughly again. Looking much better, isn't it?

Sprinkle salt on half of a lemon and rub the lemon into the sides of the bowl. This is a kind of natural scrub that also works wonders for your skin! lol.

The finished product (for now!). Seriously, I was really impressed with how much better it looked. It still looks a little scratched up and tarnished, but I think that gives it some Old World-charm. I think I might try one more round of paste at a later date, but I'm pretty happy with the results.

I should note that this was also my first foray into Heloise-style domesticity. I used to edit the Hints from Heloise column every week and if I learned anything, it's that the solution to everything is vinegar.

Down the Drain

You know how I'm always annoyed with Sean for acting like he knows everything about cooking when in reality, he's making half of it up?

It turns out he does know more than me.

We were cooking a few weeks ago and he casually mentions to me, "Hey, did you know you're never supposed to pour grease down the drain?"

And I'm like, "Nope. What are you talking about?"

And he's like, "Oh yeah. My mom told me that. You're not supposed to do it ever because the grease clogs the drain. Everybody knows that."

At this point in the story, I'd imagine you're trying to comprehend how I'm the person who didn't know that. Seriously, I have NEVER heard this. EVER.

So I go to the Google machine and I look it up and come across hundreds, nay thousands, of links about how everyone knew this but me. I thought I'd write about it in case one of you, dear readers, did not know.

But here's the sticky point about all this. I read that apparently you are supposed to pour your grease into a container, like a jar, and then throw the jar away (or sometimes hold onto it for further use in cooking).

So I ask you this: How come I have never seen someone do this in their own home? I cannot recall a single instance in which I've come across jars and jars of grease on someone's countertop or in their trash can. Seriously, where are you all hiding your grease?!

I'm sorry to say the "no grease" thing has slipped my mind since Sean first mentioned it, and I'd imagine I have a day of reckoning in my future. But in the effort of becoming domesticated, I'd like your advice.

Where do I put the grease? What am I supposed to do with it? What's the best, most handy trick you've come up with?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!

Some people are just naturals at being domesticated.

My friend Nicole was like that. She comes from this big Italian family and she loves to cook and make sure everyone is happy and stuffed. She can whip together a homemade tiramisu, paint her own porch, replace her own doors and mow her own lawn.

I stayed with her briefly before I moved in with Sean and during that time, her kitchen table was covered with germinating seeds. By the time she planted her little soil squares, she'd have more herbs than I would know what to do with. Her house had plants in literally every room, spilling over bookshelves and cupboards. It was awesome.

I am pretty much the opposite. I have tried to grow a plant twice in my life: sunflowers in 2nd grade (planted in a spot that got literally no sunlight) and lima beans for a 3rd grade class project. So imagine my thrill when I opened one of my gifts from my stepmother: a Chia herb garden!!

Cue the theme song.

CH-CH-CH-Chia!

The herb garden came with six spice packets...

And these incredible (and poorly photographed) Chia-trademarked soil sponges. Seriously, they are amazing. The kit also included 3 terra cotta planters and plastic plant markers.

The instruction were:

1. Wet soil sponge. Squeeze it. Put it in planter.

2. Sprinkle seeds on top.

3. Water it again.

For the germination period (which was all of 4 days), I put sandwich baggies over the pots to mimic a greenhouse effect. And then, suddenly out of nowhere, this happened:

OMG. I have plants!

Basil and Cilantro. Parsley is not pictured.

I am SO excited. Now the only trick is getting these poor plants enough light, since we are majorly sunlight deprived.

I feel totally energized by this experience, but I feel like I'm fooled by the ease of Chia. I'd like to have some flowers or houseplants on the porch or inside. Do you guys have any suggestions of easy beginner plants that are good for apartments?

Cleaning Neuroses

Here's the thing: I am inherently messy. I have piles of dirty clothes on my side of the room. I have a still-packed suitcase lying in the corner. I have various and sundry receipts, clothing tags, Target bags hiding around the house. Point is: I am in no position to nag about messiness.

And yet, it's as though my DNA dictates I nag. What is that about? Do you guys do the same thing. I'm not saying it's a woman thing; I totally picked this one up from my dad. My dad -- God love him -- had a catchphrase when I was growing up: "I hate to nag, but..."

He used that line probably most often when I didn't use a coaster. That man practically followed me around the house with coasters. It took a very long time for that message to sink in, but when it did, it stuck. I NEVER EVER forget to use a coaster these days and when I go to someone's home and they say not to worry about it, I can't help but immediately start to worry about it.

Sean, however, is not a coaster user. And it drives me insane. Insane to the point of snapping last night and screeching, "OMIGOD USE A COASTER RIGHT NOW!" The worst part? My coffee table isn't even made of wood, so there's no harm in not using a coaster. But I feel like this is important training for when we do have a coffee table made of wood.

What about you guys? What do you nag about? What nagging have you adopted from your parents that you swore never to bug out about? Please discuss.

P.S. The coasters above are my actual coasters and they are available here.

Bobbi Brown Bridal make-up tutorial

Remember how in high school, there were some girls who just seemed to "get it"? They had perfected the blowout by 9th grade, seemed to understand makeup in a way I didn't get and most impressively, they could create an updo with nothing more than two pencils?

I was never that girl. I would argue that perfecting one's look could be construed as becoming domesticated (especially in Betty Draper's world), but I don't want to put too much importance on make-up. That said, I spent half of this weekend completely sucked into make-up tutorials on YouTube, learning the secrets I didn't learn in high school. This is a favorite and deflnitely worth the ten minutes.

Getting back to cooking this week; I'm supposedly making chicken fried rice tonight even though eggs scare the bejesus out of me!