Monday, January 27, 2020

Fashion Review: Grammys 2020

Another week, another awards show. I can't remember the season ever feelings as condensed as this one! The Grammy's were necessarily somber, given the tragic and shocking death of Kobe Bryant and his beautiful daughter. But the fashion was, as usual, delightfully bonkers.

For the Grammy's, I'm not looking for tasteful. I'm looking for over-the-top, on brand, edgy and interesting. What we end up with is usually a wild mix of costume, surprisingly understated and phoning it in. I like that at the Grammy's, more than any other fashion event, people really basically come as they are. Let's review, shall we?


No one had a better year than my girl Lizzo, and she topped it off by also being one of the best-dressed at the show. She opened the Grammy's in this gorgeous velvet gown dotted with rhinestones by Christian Siriano. She looks like she belongs singing opera at the Met. 

Her red carpet look was just as glamorous, in perfectly fit Atelier Versace. This is the outfit she wears when she comes to steal your man.

Alicia Keys came out in this skin tight, futuristic Versace gown fit for a fembot and I immediately thought it was one of her all-time best looks.

Chrissy looks like a delicious orange peel in this orange dress by Yanina Couture, with perfectly sun-kissed skin and a California cool tousled lob.

Dua Lipa brought the best of '90s glam in a satin two-piece Vivienne Westwood outfit I swear I saw on a red carpet back in 1997. The entire vibe is Posh Spice and if ever there were a time to channel Victoria, this is it.

Sweet Maggie Rogers selected this 2013 Chanel couture gown that's truly classic for a meaningful reason: 2013 was the summer she spent in Alaska, which inspired her first hit single and basically changed her life. This is simple and pretty and her makeup looks gorgeous.

Jameela Jamil managed to be completely covered up, but still show a bit of sexy skin with a rock and roll vibe in this Georges Chakras gown. I like the futuristic look of the shiny blue tile modernizing a classic silhouette.

I love love love the swirling pattern of the confetti-colored beaded Moschino gown on rapper Saweetie. The fit is spectacular, and I love the multicolored beading adding some interest to a pretty standard red carpet look.

Rosalia has come to conquer America like a conquistador and what's more fitting for a Spanish girl than red? This fringed leather looks a little like something you'd expect to see on Reba McEntire in 1993 or, heck, Annie Oakley, but it feels right for the event.


My best/worst category is reserved for looks that pushed the boundaries of taste but are maybe actually great. These are folks who dared to dream.

My man Billy Porter is here to save me from red carpet doldrums in a Baja East hat with a RETRACTABLE FRINGE. Whom amongst us hasn't wished we could close the world out with the flick of a switch? This hat accomplished all that, with the added bonus of being just an accessory to a bodysuit fit for ABBA.

I have hope for little Billie Eilish to actually survive the typically cursed nature of teen stardom. Part of my faith is derived from the fact she is utterly and completely herself and has smartly eschewed any attempt to sexualize her. She basically wears designer Gucci pajamas and it's inspiring.

I told my husband that Tyler the Creator's aesthetic feels like it was designed by Wes Anderson and here he comes, basically showing up as a Grand Budapest Hotel lobby boy. Spectacular, amazing, fantastic, all the adjectives.

At first glance, I love the daring combo of orange and black on rapper J.I.D. And then I'm squinting, that a fanny pack SEWN IN AS THE POCKET? Is this brilliant? Is this the future? Is this terrible? Is this another case of men being given better pocket options than women? Would TSA go for this concept?

Music video director Calmatic turned up in what I'd consider my Sunday cozies: an oversized cardigan, a frowny face T-shirt that decries gentrification and rumpled slacks with squeaky clean white sneaks. On one hand — profoundly underdressed? On the other hand, it feels extremely rock and roll and basically like exactly what Kurt Cobain would have worn. 

Pearl Besties

Two people came in head-to-toe pearl-encrusted ensembles, which is how I'd like to be buried. Shaun Ross, above, is wearing the pearly winter lewk. Cannot imagine it was comfortable to sit in, but it's a vibe.

YouTuber Nikita Dragun managed to toe the line between classy (pearls make everything classy) and trashy (like, is that boa actually from the trash). This almost gives you X-Men mutant skin vibes. 

Battle of the Ladies in Red

And THEN, we had not one, but two, women don one-sleeved red dresses. One was successful, and that is Janina Gavunkar's sweetheart neckline Romona Keveza dress above with a matching red lip.

I thought Lala Milan's gown was lovely UNTIL I realized her left arm is literally imprisoned in a floor length sleeve WITH A TRAIN and truly, how did she accomplish anything all night? How did she pee? How did she drink? How did she sit? How did she brush hair out of her eyes? Torture.


Ariana did the most as only Ariana can in a Barbie-perfect ponytail and the fluffiest gray Giambattista Valli gown. It's lovely, but it was more shocking/exciting when Rihanna did it first in pink Valli. I also am not totally into the matching gray gloves. I kind of wish they were white.

I love the idea of celebrating and elevating the durag and giving it a train at the Grammy's. Guapdad 4000 looks so proud here!

H.E.R wore a colorful kimono and her signature 70's style glasses that was just the right amount of sexy and chic. I'm on the fence about whether a kimono taken so literally is too much appropriation, but I do like the colors. 

This is exactly what I want from my out and proud hip-hop country icon Lil Nas X: highlighter pink leather and a mesh top with gold-capped boots by Versace. I expect nothing less.

I love this shade of raspberry for a man's suit, and Shawn Mendes looks very heart-throbby here.


It's hard to really get excited about Camila Cabello's black skirt popped over a sparkly mini get-up by Versace. It's just a little ho-hum considering she's had a pretty big year. I also found her unrecognizable with this hairstyle, which is weird because she just didn't part her bangs.

Bebe Rexha also was farely muted in this black oversized suit over a chainmail top that almost looked like she had a skin condition. It's fine.

This gown with that updo on Lana Del Ray just looks so mumsy. She looks like her little girl is getting married today. I'd love to see her turning up in some spectacular vintage that feels more her. Apparently, it was bought last-minute at the mall and, that said, it's pretty good for something bought last-minute at the mall.

Ella Mai's gown is perfectly fine — so much so, I feel certain we've seen it on bridesmaids, at proms and maybe even on sale racks at Ross. Her hair gave me serious flashbacks to 7th grade prom, when no one knew how to do hair yet so you just pulled two pieces out, curled them under and hoped for the best.

Sophie Turner's sparkly Louis Vuitton mock-sweater vest and just-slightly-too-short mini just aren't doing anything for me. I get what she's going for, but it's falling flat.

This is the rare misstep for Priyanka Chopra-Jonas. Not only is it another case of kimono fashion that feels borderline culturally inappropriate, but the actual cut on this Ralph & Russo is really unflattering. The whole effect makes her look wider than I know she is, and kind of slouchy.

I really miss the Gwen Stefani I fell in love with back in middle school. She is not someone who would look, for all intents and purposes, like a Russian doll suffering from Stockholm Syndrome while wearing Dolce & Gabbana, a brand plagued with controversies for its racial insensitivity. The dress itself is perfectly lovely, but the whole look and vibe makes me sad.

Hear me out: I could actually be into Esperanza Spalding's jumpsuit if it didn't have a somewhat cheesy "Life Force" message. I think she absolutely is a life force, but this feels like a situation in which actions speak louder than words.

Don't get me wrong, BTS look very 90's chic. They look absolutely ready to audition for the parts of Chandler, Joey and Ross for a Korean Friends reboot. Never since then have I seen so many combos of neutrals.

A LOT OF LOOK HERE. Little Big Town always gets a little frisky with fashion, with mixed results. I'm not even that mad at these looks individually, but as a whole, it feels like these are four people who met at a murder mystery party.

Worst Dressed

Is this a cool Grammy's outfit, or is it a sexy Phantom of the Opera costume? Alessandra Ambrosio is living the best of both worlds in essentially white bridal shapewear, topped with half of a judge's robe by Balmain. It's sexy, it's prudish, it's puritanical, it's Playboy bunny-esque. An outfit for all people.

FKA Twigs' outfit has a LOT going on and when I read it was designed by Ed Marler I had to take a beat to remind myself it was not by Ed Hardy. Because frankly, with the almost tattoo vibe of the sheer layer and the lady-of-the-manor dressing robe on top, it could be designed by Ed Hardy.

What do you wear if you want to be taken seriously for your work but also kind of want to aggressively seduce people? Tove Lo has the solution in this precariously cut vintage Vivienne Westwood suit that feels simultaneously boring and TOO MUCH. I could see how this would almost work with entirely different styling, but here, it just seems like she's a secretary who's decided tonight is the night her boss is going to finally leave his wife. Her hair and make-up seem really underdone to sell this look.

Imogen Heap manages to somehow look too casual in her modern take on a Wildling costume from Game of Thrones. She's got it all: streaky bird's nest hair, an almost incomprehensible top that seems to be dangling threads all over, pleated leather trousers and booties made for cloven hooves.

Songwriter Jozzy looks so sweet and fun, but this suit is the color of bile and looks like it could be a wearable science fair presentation on the small intestine.

I will be having nightmares about the hair curtain situation on Orville Peck. This is like The Ring, but make it fashion. He apparently always wears a face mask, often with fringe, but this one is particularly disconcerting.

What if you took basically an outfit made for a suffragist, paired it with boxing shoes and then wore it to the Grammy's? Steve Lacy is almost serving up Mrs. Doubtfire in this oversized frock.

Shania Twain's on-camera mirrored gown was bomb, but she is just drowning in this black tulle frippery. It doesn't feel designed as much as plopped.

Joy Villa is a broken record who I think may only be invited to the Grammy's so they can say they invited a full spectrum of attendees. Every year, she uses the opportunity to show her love of Trump and the Republican party, and that's fine and all, but is there a way to do it without wearing basically variations on the same dress every year?

Wouldn't it be kind of fun to travel with your own tent to hide inside, maybe if you're avoiding an ex or need to pick a wedgie? Ricky Rebel, who is an outspoken Pro-Trump artist and always makes it part of his fashion, walked the line between extremely exposed (he wrote "impeach this" on his butt cheeks) and completely concealed in this truly wild ensemble.

Monday, January 20, 2020

Fashion Review: SAG Awards 2020

I have a real soft spot for the SAG Awards. They are blessedly brief, the actors seem genuinely thrilled to win an award selected by their fellow actors and the fashion gets KOOKY. So many nobodies get invited, which leads to some interesting fashion victories and misses. The big stars decide to have a little fun or play it extra boring, just because they can, and this is the show in-between the Golden Globes and the Oscars. It's great!

Let's scroll through some styles and see who rose to the top.


Zoe Kravitz looked like a Jackie Kennedy for the new millennia and even if this Oscar de la Renta looked nearly exactly like a dress the First Lady would have worn for a state dinner in the East Room, it sang its way right into my Camelot-loving heart. The ballet peachy-pink shade makes her skin glow, and the gloves look so effortless and natural on her, but of course impossibly glamorous. She's killing it lately.

I'm not sure who Scarlett is working with these days, but her stylist is pulling some excellent looks for her. In the past, I've felt really up and down about her style, but this super chic, pared-down silhouette in a metallic teal by Armani Prive looks really fantastic on her. I love the red-orange lip, as well.

I always love the pairing of orange and hot pink together, and this voluminous Schiaparelli gown on Cynthia Erivo just sings. I do wish the bust didn't look quite so tight, but otherwise, I thought this was one of the best looks she's worn, and it feels like it matches her personality.

I love this sprinkling of sparkles on Reese's modern and chic Celine gown. I've been feeling a little bored with her style lately and this was a fun, sexy look.

Charlize manages to make a two-piece crop evening look by Givenchy seem like something a queen would wear for coronation. You can just see her ballet training in the way she carries herself, and her shoulders look spectacular in this halter top.

Catherine Zeta Jones should just drop the Zeta and change it to Va Va Va Voom, or a hearty "dayummmm." This silver sequined look by Julien X Gabriela is accessorized perfectly with dark toenails and long danglers on her ears.

Lupita is just flawless and you can't convince me otherwise. This Louis Vuitton gown is deceptively simple, but has some really interesting elements, from the white knotted bandeau bust to the sequined floral pattern. Her hair looked especially lovely.

J.Lo almost never does black and simple, and so when she does it, it feels fresh! She looked just sleek and lovely in this Georges Hobeika and was CRIMINALLY ROBBED. Truly, her performance in Hustlers was one of my favorites of the year.

A pearl-trimmed black-and-white gown by Miu Miu trimmed with fluffy fringe? Lili Reinhart knows the way to MY heart.

I know I've seen this type of Stella McCartney dress before, and it's not particularly earth-shattering, but gosh it's also classically lovely. Rachel Brosnahan's stylist has got this whole red carpet thing locked down.

Millie Bobby Brown is almost SIXTEEN and looks honestly maybe 32 here, but regardless, this is a chic-as-hell Louis Vuitton look. It would work equally well for Jane Fonda as it does for her. It's elegant, but also a little different and her makeup was perfection. Squint and you could almost believe this was Natalie Portman.

Yes, I do see that this vaguely looks like a beaded lampshade, but I don't care! I'm a sucker for black, white and pearls in any combo forever, and even more so, I'm a sucker for Allison Janney. The cut of the Pamela Rolland silhouette is *chef's kiss* perfetto.

This art deco-meets-victorian woman in mourning plum gown by Temperley is just funky enough to be interesting. Alexis Bledel is doing really great work on Handmaid's Tale, and I'm happy to see how her style has matured and evolved. This is a little daring, but not crazy, and I appreciate that.

Dan Levy's style is so chic and this Dior look is all about the details — the high cuff on the pant paired with the boots, the always-perfect glasses and the handpainted satin coat with a ROSE all come together so harmoniously.

On anyone else, I might be wincing, but on the divine Catherine O'Hara, a bronze sequined turtleneck Marc Jacobs sheath feels right and fabulous. I want her work to develop the iconic character of Moira Rose to be celebrated!

I feel pretty sure I have absolutely razzed a look exactly like this in the past, and here I am, thinking it's really ethereal and lovely on Nina Kiri, of The Handmaid's Tale. What can I say? Yes, it is a bikini top and a sparkly mini and then a tutu, but I am feeling it. 

I feel like Madeline Brewer here is really underrated and I'm ready for her to make the jump away from tortured souls on TV to something fun and different. I especially love her in this electric blue Monique Lhuillier, tiered gown that looks like the very best prom dress you could have hoped for in the 1980s. 


Margot Robbie perfectly captured the crazy in-between world of the SAG Awards, where you can get a little funky with it. This plaid, tiered Chanel gown with gold chains is like 90s grunge-turned-prom and I'm weirdly not mad at it! She looks lovely and fun.

There's a lot that I like about this Vassilis Zoulias gown on Francesca Reale and some elements that I think might be too much, but generally I love it in concept. It's classic and demure and feels age-appropriate. I'd wear it.

Dakota Fanning looks like a glamorous mermaid (who traded her voice for legs, obviously) in this sparkly sea spray Valentino gown. I really like the modern looseness of her waves and the restraint not to go crazy with accessories. She looks great.

This red gown on Anna Paquin is a teensy bit ho-hum, but the detailing of the bodice is really lovely. I'd probably like to see a red lip or a funky hairdo to shake it up a bit.

Laura Dern looks like a power broker with these power shoulders in a deep hunter green by Stella McCartney. It's good, it's simple, it's not one I'll remember but it looks great.

Michelle Williams' little bump was cozily swathed in black velvet and this gown is elegant in its simplicity. I loved the crystal barrette in her hair and the Veronica Lake wave.

Listen, Nicole doesn't miss. Even when she shoots a crazy shot, she still lands it. This sapphire, sequined Michael Kors is inoffensive and lovely, if not a little basic for Nicole. 

Renee is back and we're along for the ride. This sapphire satin by Maison Margiela is just interesting enough to not be boring and I do like the high ponytail. It looks like she's an envelope ready to be opened!

Um, Meryl looks fantastic here. Like, one of her better looks and I barely got to peep it! The necklace and glasses are EVERYTHING, but the cut and color of her gown are also so flattering. 

Leslie Bibb should win an award for her performance as the most supportive partner ever, but in the meantime, she can at least rest assured she generally looks hot and chic. I like the interesting silver-on-silver pattern on this modern August Getty gown.

Everyone deserves a moment to wear pleated ruffled chiffon like they're starring in a 1930s musical, and Emily Hampshire of Schitt's Creek made the most of her chance in this dark rose J. Mendel! 

Annie Murphy, also of Schitt's Creek, seemed to be channeling her character in this Dior Haute Couture boho chic gown. It's the perfect mix of interesting and stylish for the SAG awards.

This sparkly suit trimmed with a giant bejeweled camellia is the most interesting ensemble Chanel has given Margaret Qualley so far. It's still borderline businesslike — I'd be more likely to wear this to a Women in Hollywood business luncheon than the SAG Awards — but it's a step in the right direction.

I have a big soft spot for Christina Applegate as star of my secret favorite movie "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead" and this black and white floral Monique Lhuillier gown seemed fit for Sue Ellen during the big fashion show finale. Absolutely worthy of raiding the petty cash box.

Let's be real. If everyone is going to be strangely fixated on how you and your most famous ex are both showing up at all the awards shows, and there's an inkling of a chance you'll be photographed together, you should ideally be wearing bias cut white satin vintage Dior that leaves very little to the imagination. God bless Jennifer Aniston and all she endures for us.

Kaitlyn Dever looks hot to trot in this raspberry halter gown by Olivier Theyskins that's just a perfect shade. The only thing I didn't love is her hairstyle — I think this would have looked awfully cute with a high (or even low) pony and a sassy earring moment.

Glenn or Guinevere? Glenn looked ethereal floating across the stage with her Oscar de la Renta cape flowing behind her. This is fun and glamorous but also looks COMFY. 

I am just loving this new age in Hollywood where the men have discovered Fashion and the boys are daring! Noah Schnapp, of Stranger Things, looks handsome and edgy in this Cinderella blue satin suit by Balmain.


Jennifer Garner is so cute and looks really happy and pretty in this red dress by Dolce & Gabbana. It's a very nice dress, but feels vaguely like it could have come from a prom catalog.

Pure Gentlemen Prefers Blondes moment here on Sophie Turner. I like this Louis Vuitton, but I just can't seem to love it. Does it need a cool accessory? Is it actually great and I'm just picky? I'm on the fence.

Camila Mendes looks very pretty and sorry, I just have to yawn real quick. This Ralph & Russo dress is a perfect pick out of the classic nude sparkly-flowy gown playbook and it always works, but it's always a little boring.

I feel like we've been on such a journey with Elisabeth Moss when it comes to fashion, and she's finally FINALLY having some fun with it. So I don't want to discourage that, even if this Monique Lhuillier feels potentially swiped from the future closet of Peggy Olson. If not at the SAG awards, where?

Sarah Goldberg also looks like she marched straight out of a 1970s wedding in her floral, vaguely nightgown-ish look, but it actually struck me as really cute and her hair looks perfect. An improvement over her previous outings, for sure.

Is it a Nickelodeon parachute? It might be. But I'm very nearly on board with this neon orange duvet by Valentino on Kathryn Newton. Her makeup and hair are helping to sell the look.

This mullet dress by Philosophy di Lorenzo Serafini on Sarah Hyland is a lot of trying too hard in my opinion. That's a lot of skin. BUT I like the colors on her, and I get it; her steady Modern Family gig is ending and she needs to get some attention.


Can you really even evaluate Helena Bonham Carter on the usual fashion spectrum? She basically always has the same look: pile of hair on head, kooky sunglasses, tea-length gown, wacky platforms. It's her whole thing. So, this is pretty par for the course and the course is pretty cuckoo.

Winona Ryder is wearing exactly what I would wear for a Winona Ryder costume. Her Dior Couture getup includes a goth bridal gown, topped with a feather-trimmed blazer and maybe a collar and tie? She may have just been doing Moira Rose cosplay as her character in "The Crows Have Eyes."


Is Patricia Arquette...
a) Dressed as a sexy devil minus the horns?
b) A Batman villain and accomplice of the Joker?
c) Doing an Elvis in Vegas tribute?
d) all of the above?

Part of me didn't feel like this Alex Borstein look is actually bad. But I do want to make sure we all acknowledge it consists of a puce green blouson wrap top with what appears to be an uneven contrast satin hip belt? The shoes are also very clunky for this silhouette. But's not that bad?

What if "The Birds" ended with a wedding and the poor bride was pecked to death and bled out, and then came back from the dead and it still ended with a wedding scene? That's what I assume was the vision board for this Bibhu Mohapatra gown on poor Cara Buono.

Sweet Maya Hawke is 90s Hollywood royalty and inherited her mom's statuesque frame and good looks, but this is not the greatest showing. Her ho-hum black gown over pants ensemble by Giambattista Valli is accented with a super clunky shoe and a face full of way too much makeup. Her apologetic posture doesn't help, either. I assume she's going to work this whole thing out, but this is at best, boring and at worst, a big disappointment.

Nathalie Emmanuelle wore a 1960s garment housecoat gown by Miu Miu that commits the sin of having both a very fine print that doesn't photograph well AND giant appliques that look like doilies. It's as though she dressed as a grandma's house for Halloween.

The bodice on this gown worn by Lisa Edelstein is just rude and someone should be fired. It looks like someone couldn't be bothered to do the actual alterations so they used iron-on seam tape and hoped for the best. The whole thing looks home-sewn (in the bad way). 

For some reason Jenna Lyons, formerly the visionary creative director of J.Crew, had some kind of promotional deal with TBS/TNT that never became clear in the commercials. She's known for her masterful mix of high and low and dressy and casual, but this toile jumpsuit with frankly fugly platforms and aviator sunglasses is the definition of trying too hard. You just know she's pleased as punch with herself and meanwhile she looks like a villain in the Fast and the Furious movies.

Sweet Robin Weigert looks mostly fabulous but the pattern of this dress looks like hospital waiting room furniture. Like, we've all filled out forms while sitting on a weird two-and-a-half person couch with this pattern, right? It's also made of some of the ugliest shades of tan, taupe and green, or poop, band-aid and puke.

These boys out here are feeling so daring! So daring, in fact, they are dressing in oversized blazers they stole from their dad's closet and then used a bunch of safety pins to pin back the sleeves. Then they thought the best bottoms to wear would be the leather pants Ross wore on Friends. Bless you, Casey Thomas Brown (of The Kominsky Method). We wish for you the same good eye as Timothee Chalamet.

Pedro Pascal has a sexy voice and must be riding high from the success of The Mandalorian, but this whole outfit appears designed to make buttons nearly invisible. Is that coat double-breasted, or just off-center? His Mandalorian suit would be better.