For the Grammy's, I'm not looking for tasteful. I'm looking for over-the-top, on brand, edgy and interesting. What we end up with is usually a wild mix of costume, surprisingly understated and phoning it in. I like that at the Grammy's, more than any other fashion event, people really basically come as they are. Let's review, shall we?
No one had a better year than my girl Lizzo, and she topped it off by also being one of the best-dressed at the show. She opened the Grammy's in this gorgeous velvet gown dotted with rhinestones by Christian Siriano. She looks like she belongs singing opera at the Met.
Her red carpet look was just as glamorous, in perfectly fit Atelier Versace. This is the outfit she wears when she comes to steal your man.
Alicia Keys came out in this skin tight, futuristic Versace gown fit for a fembot and I immediately thought it was one of her all-time best looks.
Chrissy looks like a delicious orange peel in this orange dress by Yanina Couture, with perfectly sun-kissed skin and a California cool tousled lob.
Dua Lipa brought the best of '90s glam in a satin two-piece Vivienne Westwood outfit I swear I saw on a red carpet back in 1997. The entire vibe is Posh Spice and if ever there were a time to channel Victoria, this is it.
Sweet Maggie Rogers selected this 2013 Chanel couture gown that's truly classic for a meaningful reason: 2013 was the summer she spent in Alaska, which inspired her first hit single and basically changed her life. This is simple and pretty and her makeup looks gorgeous.
Jameela Jamil managed to be completely covered up, but still show a bit of sexy skin with a rock and roll vibe in this Georges Chakras gown. I like the futuristic look of the shiny blue tile modernizing a classic silhouette.
I love love love the swirling pattern of the confetti-colored beaded Moschino gown on rapper Saweetie. The fit is spectacular, and I love the multicolored beading adding some interest to a pretty standard red carpet look.
Rosalia has come to conquer America like a conquistador and what's more fitting for a Spanish girl than red? This fringed leather looks a little like something you'd expect to see on Reba McEntire in 1993 or, heck, Annie Oakley, but it feels right for the event.
My best/worst category is reserved for looks that pushed the boundaries of taste but are maybe actually great. These are folks who dared to dream.
My man Billy Porter is here to save me from red carpet doldrums in a Baja East hat with a RETRACTABLE FRINGE. Whom amongst us hasn't wished we could close the world out with the flick of a switch? This hat accomplished all that, with the added bonus of being just an accessory to a bodysuit fit for ABBA.
I have hope for little Billie Eilish to actually survive the typically cursed nature of teen stardom. Part of my faith is derived from the fact she is utterly and completely herself and has smartly eschewed any attempt to sexualize her. She basically wears designer Gucci pajamas and it's inspiring.
I told my husband that Tyler the Creator's aesthetic feels like it was designed by Wes Anderson and here he comes, basically showing up as a Grand Budapest Hotel lobby boy. Spectacular, amazing, fantastic, all the adjectives.
At first glance, I love the daring combo of orange and black on rapper J.I.D. And then I'm squinting, like....is that a fanny pack SEWN IN AS THE POCKET? Is this brilliant? Is this the future? Is this terrible? Is this another case of men being given better pocket options than women? Would TSA go for this concept?
Music video director Calmatic turned up in what I'd consider my Sunday cozies: an oversized cardigan, a frowny face T-shirt that decries gentrification and rumpled slacks with squeaky clean white sneaks. On one hand — profoundly underdressed? On the other hand, it feels extremely rock and roll and basically like exactly what Kurt Cobain would have worn.
Two people came in head-to-toe pearl-encrusted ensembles, which is how I'd like to be buried. Shaun Ross, above, is wearing the pearly winter lewk. Cannot imagine it was comfortable to sit in, but it's a vibe.
YouTuber Nikita Dragun managed to toe the line between classy (pearls make everything classy) and trashy (like, is that boa actually from the trash). This almost gives you X-Men mutant skin vibes.
Battle of the Ladies in Red
And THEN, we had not one, but two, women don one-sleeved red dresses. One was successful, and that is Janina Gavunkar's sweetheart neckline Romona Keveza dress above with a matching red lip.
I thought Lala Milan's gown was lovely UNTIL I realized her left arm is literally imprisoned in a floor length sleeve WITH A TRAIN and truly, how did she accomplish anything all night? How did she pee? How did she drink? How did she sit? How did she brush hair out of her eyes? Torture.
Ariana did the most as only Ariana can in a Barbie-perfect ponytail and the fluffiest gray Giambattista Valli gown. It's lovely, but it was more shocking/exciting when Rihanna did it first in pink Valli. I also am not totally into the matching gray gloves. I kind of wish they were white.
I love the idea of celebrating and elevating the durag and giving it a train at the Grammy's. Guapdad 4000 looks so proud here!
H.E.R wore a colorful kimono and her signature 70's style glasses that was just the right amount of sexy and chic. I'm on the fence about whether a kimono taken so literally is too much appropriation, but I do like the colors.
This is exactly what I want from my out and proud hip-hop country icon Lil Nas X: highlighter pink leather and a mesh top with gold-capped boots by Versace. I expect nothing less.
I love this shade of raspberry for a man's suit, and Shawn Mendes looks very heart-throbby here.
It's hard to really get excited about Camila Cabello's black skirt popped over a sparkly mini get-up by Versace. It's just a little ho-hum considering she's had a pretty big year. I also found her unrecognizable with this hairstyle, which is weird because she just didn't part her bangs.
Bebe Rexha also was farely muted in this black oversized suit over a chainmail top that almost looked like she had a skin condition. It's fine.
This gown with that updo on Lana Del Ray just looks so mumsy. She looks like her little girl is getting married today. I'd love to see her turning up in some spectacular vintage that feels more her. Apparently, it was bought last-minute at the mall and, that said, it's pretty good for something bought last-minute at the mall.
Ella Mai's gown is perfectly fine — so much so, I feel certain we've seen it on bridesmaids, at proms and maybe even on sale racks at Ross. Her hair gave me serious flashbacks to 7th grade prom, when no one knew how to do hair yet so you just pulled two pieces out, curled them under and hoped for the best.
Sophie Turner's sparkly Louis Vuitton mock-sweater vest and just-slightly-too-short mini just aren't doing anything for me. I get what she's going for, but it's falling flat.
This is the rare misstep for Priyanka Chopra-Jonas. Not only is it another case of kimono fashion that feels borderline culturally inappropriate, but the actual cut on this Ralph & Russo is really unflattering. The whole effect makes her look wider than I know she is, and kind of slouchy.
I really miss the Gwen Stefani I fell in love with back in middle school. She is not someone who would look, for all intents and purposes, like a Russian doll suffering from Stockholm Syndrome while wearing Dolce & Gabbana, a brand plagued with controversies for its racial insensitivity. The dress itself is perfectly lovely, but the whole look and vibe makes me sad.
Hear me out: I could actually be into Esperanza Spalding's jumpsuit if it didn't have a somewhat cheesy "Life Force" message. I think she absolutely is a life force, but this feels like a situation in which actions speak louder than words.
Don't get me wrong, BTS look very 90's chic. They look absolutely ready to audition for the parts of Chandler, Joey and Ross for a Korean Friends reboot. Never since then have I seen so many combos of neutrals.
A LOT OF LOOK HERE. Little Big Town always gets a little frisky with fashion, with mixed results. I'm not even that mad at these looks individually, but as a whole, it feels like these are four people who met at a murder mystery party.
Is this a cool Grammy's outfit, or is it a sexy Phantom of the Opera costume? Alessandra Ambrosio is living the best of both worlds in essentially white bridal shapewear, topped with half of a judge's robe by Balmain. It's sexy, it's prudish, it's puritanical, it's Playboy bunny-esque. An outfit for all people.
FKA Twigs' outfit has a LOT going on and when I read it was designed by Ed Marler I had to take a beat to remind myself it was not by Ed Hardy. Because frankly, with the almost tattoo vibe of the sheer layer and the lady-of-the-manor dressing robe on top, it could be designed by Ed Hardy.
What do you wear if you want to be taken seriously for your work but also kind of want to aggressively seduce people? Tove Lo has the solution in this precariously cut vintage Vivienne Westwood suit that feels simultaneously boring and TOO MUCH. I could see how this would almost work with entirely different styling, but here, it just seems like she's a secretary who's decided tonight is the night her boss is going to finally leave his wife. Her hair and make-up seem really underdone to sell this look.
Imogen Heap manages to somehow look too casual in her modern take on a Wildling costume from Game of Thrones. She's got it all: streaky bird's nest hair, an almost incomprehensible top that seems to be dangling threads all over, pleated leather trousers and booties made for cloven hooves.
Songwriter Jozzy looks so sweet and fun, but this suit is the color of bile and looks like it could be a wearable science fair presentation on the small intestine.
I will be having nightmares about the hair curtain situation on Orville Peck. This is like The Ring, but make it fashion. He apparently always wears a face mask, often with fringe, but this one is particularly disconcerting.
What if you took basically an outfit made for a suffragist, paired it with boxing shoes and then wore it to the Grammy's? Steve Lacy is almost serving up Mrs. Doubtfire in this oversized frock.
Shania Twain's on-camera mirrored gown was bomb, but she is just drowning in this black tulle frippery. It doesn't feel designed as much as plopped.
Joy Villa is a broken record who I think may only be invited to the Grammy's so they can say they invited a full spectrum of attendees. Every year, she uses the opportunity to show her love of Trump and the Republican party, and that's fine and all, but is there a way to do it without wearing basically variations on the same dress every year?
Wouldn't it be kind of fun to travel with your own tent to hide inside, maybe if you're avoiding an ex or need to pick a wedgie? Ricky Rebel, who is an outspoken Pro-Trump artist and always makes it part of his fashion, walked the line between extremely exposed (he wrote "impeach this" on his butt cheeks) and completely concealed in this truly wild ensemble.