Monday, February 10, 2020

Fashion Review: Oscars 2020

And just like that, awards season has drawn to a close! I'm thrilled Parasite took home some very deserved awards, a little disappointed Little Women didn't take home more and surprised 1917 went home with very few (it was quite good). But we're here to talk fashion.

On the whole, people played it pretty safe — a lot of white, black and nude sparkly gowns that were classic but time will tell if they were memorable. It occurred to me that many of the usual red carpet heavy hitters were absent, and without J.Lo, Gwyneth, Cate or Lupita to jolt us awake, the overall red carpet felt a little lacking. But thankfully, we were blessed with Regina, Janelle and Cynthia to give us looks to drool over. Let's review!


BEST DRESSED


In a night of many white dresses and sparkly dresses, Cynthia Erivo's Versace gown was a celebration of tailoring, draping and fit. It manages to be both sexy and classy and employs volume in all the right ways. But her accessories were the real winners here — diamond rings on diamond rings, ear cuffs on ear cuffs and a Starry Night-inspired manicure that was a tribute to Harriett Tubman. So good!

Image result for cynthia erivo manicure oscars


It's Regina King's world and we're just lucky enough to live in it. She exudes confidence and class in this ballet pink Versace with a sprinkling of rhinestones. She just glows! Again, Versace has *fit* on lock.


Natalie Portman used her red carpet power for good and had her Dior cape embroidered with the names of female directors she felt should have been nominated. Such a smart use of her interview time, and it's done in an extremely elegant way. And truly, three cheers for this perfect blunt bob and color.


Janelle Monae is giving us Star Wars couture in this sparkly Ralph Lauren and I love it, and I love her. It reminds me of Grace Jones, the only other person to so chicly rock a hooded look. I love how she plays with fashion.


This is a career best for Mindy. This shade of canary yellow is so gorgeous on her, the pleating of that bodice, the draping of the skirt — it all adds up to an incredibly beautiful look by Dolce & Gabbana. The necklace is also perfection.


Renee Zellweger knows what works for her, and white gowns on Oscar night work for her. She won her second in this extremely classic, extremely on brand Armani gown. It's a teensy bit on the boring side, but the detail work of the beading is very good; I definitely could have used some fun earrings.


Brie Larson isn't necessarily breaking new ground in this rose gold Celine caped gown, but it's a solid hit. It shows skin in all the right places and feels just right for a presenter at the Oscars.


Not going to lie, I wanted some more star power out of Scarlett, but I do like the futuristic-meets-lingerie vibe of this Oscar de la Renta. The bodice was interesting, and her jewelry was on point. I would have loved to see her play with color a little more, though; her dresses for the rest of the awards season were such delicious shades.


Charlize loves an architecturally draped modern gown in a neutral, so even though this Dior is borderline boring for her, it's undeniably beautiful. She looks like a statue they should put in the Louvre.


Rebel Wilson's gold sequined Jason Wu gown is so great! The fit and cut are so well done, and I thought on the whole she looked very "Oscars." It's also nice that she got to look so great on the red carpet knowing later she'd be forced back into her Cats costume for a bit.


Kaitlyn Dever, of Booksmart, has had a lot of fun experimenting with fashion this season and I love this modern take on your classic Rita Hayworth-worthy red gown by Louis Vuitton with modern straight hair. The blue beads on the red gown add so much interest and dimension.


Molly Sims is routinely one of the best-dressed celebrities at any of these events and I never include her because, like, it's weird for her to routinely be one of the best-dressed when she's not really in the spotlight. But this I could not ignore because this Zuhair Murad was one of my favorite gowns from the most recent couture season and I loved the unique peachy shade. So there you go, Molly, your marriage to the head of Netflix original films landed you on the red carpet and thereby, on my best-dressed list.


I mean, this guy. A velvet blazer, surfer hair and all the swagger add up to a well-dressed man.

GOOD


What if you were assigned to write 500 words and you turned in 1,200? That's the vibe Elie Saab brings to designing gowns and even though this gown on Sandra Oh is A LOT, I can't help but love it. It has everything: ruffled tulle rosettes, poofy sleeves, sequins, a metallic belt. Truly, something for everyone. It's teetering right on the edge of Too Much, and somehow, I'm leaning toward Just Enough.


On the whole, I think Gal Gadot looks lovely in her bad girl-meets-good girl black lace and pink tulle combo by Givenchy. Her face is so breathtakingly beautiful that she can carry most looks. But I will say something is off for me about the bodice and I think it's the placement of the lace in the breast area. I just found it distracting.


Geena Davis won the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and criminally, they gave Eminem time for a full performance of "Lose Yourself" but didn't say anything about her humanitarian work that earned the recognition. At least she looked fantastic. Her haircut is great, and this Romona Keveza black gown has a great mix of textures to make it visually interesting. Plus POCKETS.

 Idina Menzel's hot pink gown gave me the dose of color I needed after so many white, black and neutral dresses. I do feel like something's missing, but it's a good showing nonetheless.


Julia Louis-Dreyfus is such a knockout and it's kind of insane to think she spent years in saddle shoes and floral oversized dresses as Elaine. She's spent her red carpet career celebrating simple silhouettes with impeccable fits and this Vera Wang was no exception. Her necklace was one of the best of the night.


Still not quite the perfection I want to see on Salma, but MUCH closer after so many duds. This entire Gucci look would be perfect if she lost the extraneous sleeve. Having that in addition to her very bold jewelry just makes it all a bit much, but I did love the showiness of her headpiece.


America's Favorite Kooky Wife Rita Wilson looks ready to dance in this fantastic sequined fringed gown by Tom Ford and I could see her jamming to Eminem so all in all, a good night for Rita.


I'm not in total love with the floral print on Beanie Feldstein's Miu Miu gown — something about it feels slightly juvenile to me — but the general gist and cut are fantastic.


Maya Rudolph has been trying for a long time to master red carpet style that captures her quirky art curator/modern dance teacher vibe and I think this Valentino is the closest she's come to nailing it. I have to give her major points for even attempting copper sequins, purple eyeshadow and emerald earrings.


Adorable little Julia Butters is doing the most in her oxford collared shirt with tiered sleeves and a tulle overskirt but, man, you're only a little girl at your first Oscars once and you SHOULD look like a Hello Kitty store. She also smuggled a turkey sandwich in her purse, and that's just adorable.

BEST WORST


Billy Porter's Giles Deacon Couture look was the rare look that didn't totally work for me. I'm just not in love with the print at all, but I am very into the gold feathered top. At the end of the day, I'll never be mad at him for continually raising the bar.


Similarly, I learned Timothee Chalamet does all his own styling and when you consider some of the daring looks he's pulled together, it's really impressive. This is giving me New Jersey gas attendant vibes, though, and I'm not so sure I "get it." Am I an old? Is this what it feels like?


Legendary costume designer Sandy Powell, who was nominated for The Irishman, is a cross between Ziggy Stardust and Annie Lennox and it's been her thing forever and she slays at it. This clever girl wore a cream suit and invited celebrities to autograph it — a great little meta commentary on the entire red carpet machine, if you ask me — and plans to auction it for charity. Love it. 

MOST ON-BRAND


Billie is doing her Billie thing and it's so iconic now that I'm already kind of interested to jump ahead in time and see what her next vibe will be. But for now, we can enjoy luxury Chanel pajamas with Flo Jo nails and acid green hair Billie.


Diane Warren only wears a variation of this outfit, year after year, and it is comforting in its familiar bonkers-ness.


The ultimate Knicks fan Spike Lee paid tribute to a Laker with his Kobe-inspired suit and it's so him, I can't imagine him wearing anything else.

MEH


I had really big expectations for Florence Pugh to come out and just slay me. It's her year, and her star is only rising, and I just wanted her to be my best dressed. But this 80's teal tiered satin gown by Louis Vuitton just wasn't it for me. The cut makes her look a little short, and the matchy shoes give me prom vibes. I LOVED her necklace. This isn't terrible, but it just isn't something I could ever love. 


Again, my other favorite Little Woman fired some daring shots that just didn't land for me. Saoirse Ronan did not play it safe, which I deeply appreciate, but I swore to hate baby bangs in all forms back when Courtney Cox debuted hers in Scream 3. These aren't quite that bad but they are just the wrong length for anyone.

Let's try to wrap our brains around this Gucci gown. The choice to put this burst of volume right at her midsection, but only in the front, and then pair with a periwinkle moire fabric skirt just feels bizarre. It creates a very odd silhouette, the color/fabric combo feels jarring and on the whole, this is just a weird time to get REALLY adventurous. I like some of the elements, but I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.


I have mad love and respect for Greta Gerwig, but the pairing of this olive green Dior with emerald necklace broke my brain a little bit. My eyes just want a more harmonious color pairing. Olive green is hard in general, but it feels a little dour here.


Man, Laura Dern. She usually knocks it out of the park, but this dress felt a little big lampshade, a little bit burlesque, a little bit princess and a lot of mixed messages. This Armani just doesn't strike me as particularly lovely or even memorable (in a good way). If anything it reminds me of the profound disappointment of Anne Hathaway's Oscar dress when she won.


Penelope Cruz loves a black-and-white combo from Chanel and I do, too, except when it's all you wear and it feels a little like someone just slapped some Chanel design motifs together real quick and called it a day. This feels like a cliche of a dress for Penelope Cruz.


I couldn't really drum up any feelings one way or the other about Margot Robbie's Chanel gown. The armband-sleeves are interesting, but I'm not sure if they're successful. The brooch feels like an afterthought. It's just a little blah.


Rooney Mara almost belongs in my "on brand" category because nothing is more Rooney Mara than the formula of black + cutouts + red lip + stern bun. I'm shocked Tim Burton hasn't recruited her to join his company of actors because she perpetually seems like she's about to utter Beetlejuice for a third time. This Alexander McQueen gown is interesting, and maybe an eensy bit weird, and maybe would only work on her.


Kelly Marie Tran's extra-dropped waist gown by Schiaparelli is quite an optical illusion and I'm not sure I like it. Or maybe I do? It's definitely different. The ikat patterned top feels incongruous, but also gives it some interest. Needless to say, I'm solidly on the fence with this one.


Margaret Qualley has been saddled with some of the most unremarkable looks to come out of the Chanel atelier in a long time, so I was happy to see some improvement with this ostrich feathered one. Still, the bodice gave me pause. It has a very subtle blink-and-you'll-miss-it ruffle that is so unnecessary and borderline confusing. For a moment, I thought the bodice just didn't fit properly. This dress needed some editing.


Zasie Beetz had a LOT of look going on. The choker with the slightly BDSM-inspired corset dress by Thom Brown and then...sensible slingbacks? It just seemed like a lot of personalities rolled into one. It's not on the whole bad, per se, but it's not on the whole good either.

WORST


Gotta love Kirsten Wiig and her boldness to basically dress as coral under the sea, with side boob and leather gloves, and a train. This Maison Valentino is the most, it's wacky, it's ostensibly not great, but I do love her for it.


I see a a face, maybe even Baby Yoda, in Olivia Coleman's wackadoodle Stella McCartney gown. If you picture the shoulder loops as ears and the buttons as eyes, there's definitely a creature hidden in this design. I don't think there's any scenario in which sleeve flaps like these are a good idea. Still love her, and loved her earrings.


The bodice fit of this Chanel gown on Lucy Boynton is criminal. No one's breast area should look like the visualization of a sigh. A Peter Pan color AND checkered puffed sleeves AND a high-waisted tiered skirt? Nope nope nope. On the upside, I love that she is so playful with beauty and accessories, and the pearls along her hair part are a nice touch.


What if you want the look of maternity wear without the comfort? That's how you'd end up in this Valentino gown that takes a perfectly normal black mermaid gown and then tops it with a one-shouldered blouson top that manages to conceal Catriona Balfe's figure without any of the benefits of having your figure concealed.  I cannot even imagine what this silhouette looks like from the side.


Aurora is a Norwegian singer who seems to be giving Billie Eilish a run for her money when it comes to deliberately bad hair and pajama-fit ensembles with sneakers. She basically looks like a Street Fighter avatar who does double-duty as the Childlike Empress from the Neverending Story.

Sunday, February 9, 2020

What I'd Wear to the Oscars 2020

Honestly, it feels like the Oscars move up and up and up and now I'm expecting them to start occurring some time in July at this rate. Needless to say, they snuck up on me a bit and I'm coming in just under the wire with my favorite virtual game: Play Hollywood Stylist! Truly, if they need a designer for a Sims-style game inspired by red carpets, I'm happy to consult.

Every year, I like to play imaginary Oscars dress-up and imagine what I'd pick if I were tasked with dressing the stars or choosing an outfit for the biggest red carpet of the year. Here are my picks!

If I Were... A Non-Acting nominee


There are plenty of women who get a moment on the red carpet, and hopefully, on the stage who aren't actresses. They're documentarians, producers, composers and animators and they deserve to look fabulous, too! For a long time, they were basically forced to shop off the rack, but I'd like to hope they can get some help calling in favors. If I were going to get some screen time but I don't necessarily work full-time with a trainer, I'd like the forgiving but elegant silhouette of this ostrich feather-trimmed Ralph & Russo gown. It's modern, but also classic Hollywood and I'd feel chic as hell.

A high neck with a big bow in the back calls for simple jewelry, and nothing is ever more right than a pair of Victorian drop diamonds.

If I Were ... A Presenter


The presenting slot is often a moment for ingenues, also-rans and up-and-comers to shine, so you have to make the most of your screen time. You need something that moves beautifully across the stage, looks fantastic from the torso up on camera and just conveys "I could be the next big thing." This beautiful rose Elie Saab gown is a little bit Marilyn and a little bit Dynasty and it's not one bit a mistake you'd ever regret. It checks all the boxes!


I'd like to have a little fun with the look and forgo the usual diamond danglers for these pink chandeliers that look almost like stained glass windows. 

If I Were ... Snubbed But Basically Winning


Let's say I'm at the top at 50, just rocked the Super Bowl Half-Time Show, I'm in the shape of my life, I'm engaged to a legendary Yankee AND I turned in one of the most charismatic, indelible performances of my career and yet somehow I didn't get nominated? I might want to just remind everyone who the eff I am with an absolutely Oscar-worthy spin on the red carpet in this canary yellow Giambattista Valli gown that essentially forces everyone to watch me from afar. I can only pray J.Lo gifts us with a moment like this, even though we are not worthy.


Few people have more fun with jewelry than J.Lo, so I picture her with a baller diamond necklace that calls to mind Elizabeth Taylor, like this Boucheron charmer.

If I Were ... 22 and Already Killing It


Florence Pugh has had a spectacular launch to her career, with star-making turns in Midsommar, Little Women and next, Black Widow. She's young and fresh-faced and it's the perfect moment to signal exactly that. What better than bubble gum sequined Valentino that looks simultaneously classic and youthful, and feels like a wink at Gwyneth Paltrow when she won her Oscar?



Florence seems like she has a great sense of humor and fun, so I think she'd like popping in classic Cartier panther earrings like these.

If I Were ... A Double Nominee and Going for Broke


Scarlett Johansson is nominated for both Best Supporting Actress and Best Actress and even though that sometimes leads to canceling yourself out, there's no better time to roll the dice and dress like a winner. If I were here, I'd just go ahead and dress like a sun goddess in this Egyptian-inspired Zuhair Murad gown that doesn't even need accessories. Worst-case scenario, I'd look freaking great even if I don't get an Oscar in the end.

If I Were ... New to Movies, but Broadway Famous


Cynthia Erivo seems to really have fun with fashion, and she looks fantastic in bold colors, so I'd love to see her introduce herself to the non-Broadway fan, non-Harriett-seeing American audience in this regal, bright green Christopher John Rogers gown. That's the kind of gown that makes you a household name.
Harriett Tubman was famously guided by the north star, and I think it would be lovely for Cynthia to pay tribute to her role with something like these Chanel earrings.

If I Were... Likely to Win Best Actress for Playing an Icon


Renee Zellweger may very well win the Oscar for her portrayal of Judy Garland, and although Renee typically favors very simple and sleek silhouettes, I liked the idea of this very vintage-looking Valentino that just reminds me of Old Hollywood musicals. I love the pop of red and would love it even with the gloves!
In the 1960s, Judy loved beautiful cluster earrings like these vintage de Rothschild earrings dotted with coral. It would be a nice tribute to Judy to wear something of hers, if Liza or Lorna would let Renee.