Monday, September 19, 2011

Emmys 2012: Fashion Review

This year's Emmy cast marks one of the first years when no one's dress had me gasping and no one TRULY horrified me. I mean, yes, there were some obvious missteps, but not the horrific, fireworks kind I prefer. If anything, there were a lot of "Most improved" and "on the fence" ones. You'll have to help me work out my feelings in the comments, ya'll!

Best Dressed

It's hard for me to explain why I like Julie Bowen's Oscar de la Renta dress so much. It's sparkly and it fits well and it was nice for a winner and it's a little bit Zelda Fitzgerald and a little bit 1980s. It's just a great dress, right?

I love that Sofia Vergara sees that she is the modern day Rita Hayworth and milks it for everything she's got. This coral Vera Wang couldn't suit her coloring better, her blingy earrings pack a punch without being ridiculous and her lightened tresses just add to the sun-kissed effect.

Evan Rachel Wood looks every bit the movie star in this Elie Saab dress, which is fitting considering she was nominated for her role in HBO's remake of "Mildred Pearce." She really does have a classic look, and the sculptural quality of the shoulders is really elegant.

Martha Plimpton is on this list simply for blowing my mind in this burgundy Zac Posen dress. I was like, "Holy crap, she looks AH-MAZING." She just isn't usually Mrs. Glamourpuss, you know? I love when people decide they aren't afraid to be fabulous.

Anna Faris wins for not appearing once on camera (at least not that I saw) and yet still bringing the bling. This Reem Acra dress looks like a cloth version of the Empire State Building and I loooove it. I would, however, love to see her tone down the brassiness of her hair a little for fall. Her hairstyle doesn't sell the dress the way it should.

I looked right at this picture and thought, "Hm, why was Marion Cotillard there?" and then I realized it was Aubrey Plaza a.k.a April from "Parks and Rec." WHAT? She looks seriously breathtaking in this Juan Carlos Obando dress, which I consider a star-maker turn. The hair is perfect, the accessories understated and the makeup artist did a great job making her look less dour than she always looks on the show.

Amber Riley's dress is so incredibly flattering and a testament to the fact that fashion designers ARE capable of making dresses for real women. Melissa McCarthy  needs Amber's stylist, stat.

I really don't want to like Katie Holmes' Calvin Klein sheath but, you know, it's really perfect American sportswear. I think I'd like it even better if the blue were slightly more electric, but it is a really great color already.

At first, I wasn't really blown away by Nina Dobrev's Donna Karan gown, partially because I didn't see the bottom on TV. Also, she's so tan, and I'm really biased against super-tan people these days. But every time I've looked at this dress since, it's grown on me for its simplicity, yet complicated construction. And her body! That is an hourglass, people. I bet girl had to be lowered into her seats all night!

Most Improved

Christina Hendricks' Johanna Johnson dress is a HUGE improvement over her previous outings on the red carpet. I wish her boobs weren't quite so pushed up (it looks hard to breathe, seriously), but I love the  beading and her hair/makeup are perfect.

My only criticism of Lea Michele in the past is that she was dressing a little too old and a little over blingy when she first started attending these awards shows. I liked this Marchesa dress because it was intriguing, a fun color and didn't seem too adult for her. I wish I had a picture of the back, which draped very elegantly.

People, this is Mayim Bialik. Blossom, you guys. She looked TERRIBLE not two years ago, and now, look at her! She's all sexified! I love it.

Not Quite Sold
 To me, the biggest faux pas is to be boring, or worse, to look like your dress came from a prom catalog. Adrianne Palicki's dress is kind of wrinkly, looks super prom, and the black strappy shoes look very Payless to me. She is a hot girl; she can do better!

This dress is perfectly lovely. The problem with it is that it's being worn by 13-year-old Ariel Winter, who looks almost like Ali Landry in it. Way, way, way, way too mature. She should be wearing a fun, short, youthful dress and some awesome fancy braid.

Elisabeth Moss is sort of stuck in the land of frump. There's nothing obviously wrong with this Marchesa dress, but her hair looks basically like Lady Bird Johnson's. This girl is 29, people. 29! And skinny! I want to see her in purple sequins with a smoky eye or something!

On one hand, Claire Danes' Oscar de la Renta dress is like a fashion interpretation of Picasso's blue period. On the other hand, I hate patchwork, in general, and with sleeves, this would be the most 80s redux dress ever.

 Kaley Cuoco also seems to have been shopping from the same prom catalog as Adrienne Palicki. There's nothing wrong with this; it's just a little too played out, a little too been there, done that.

 I saw Kerry Washington's Zuhair Murad dress and immediately loved it. My friend Ashleigh proclaimed it "YUCK." The bottom is kind of whack, isn't it? I would almost like it better if it was straight up fringe. Let's agree everything from the hips up is awesome.

Shouldn't it be obvious to me that Gwyneth Paltrow's Emilio Pucci dress is a bad idea? Yes, but somehow it's not. She is literally the only person who could pull that off. I like the beading, and her body is, of course, great. But am I going to be kicking myself for even considering liking this? 

This is obviously a great dress and Kate Winslet looked smokin' in it. She is a hot piece, I'll tell you that, so why wasn't I jumping up and down for this Elie Saab? I think it was because of this memory which came surging back: an incredibly comparable blue dress she wore a few years ago. Not really fair of me to pull that out, considering I buy 5 identical striped shirts a year.

Straight Up Bad

 I feel like the Twitterverse collectively gasped in horror when Julianna Margulies appeared in this Armani Prive gown. She has just been making so many weird choices in fashion lately, and this looked like it had chandelier crystals, or paperweights, or mirror eggs glued to it.

 I thought the moment when Melissa McCarthy won was the best of the entire night, and it was so great to see her relish the spotlight. I wish, however, it had been in something better fitting, more flattering and more deserving of a winner than this dress that she apparently designed herself. It's just really really frumpy, and mother-of-the-bride and not worthy of her, because she's awesome!

 I'm not a huge Olivia Munn fan to start with, but poor girl looked clueless. She's as orange as Snooki, her Carolina Herrera dress looks like it was just unfolded, and her posture is terrible. The dress manages to make a skinny girl look like she just ate at Cici's Pizza and has a food baby.

What would we do with Paz de la Huerta? Her dress isn't even bad, comparably. But it's her make-up and stare that makes me think she is angling for a guest part on the next season of "The Walking Dead."

EDIT: I had to add this picture of my jam, Zooey Deschanel, in this very sad Monique Lhuillier dress. I tweeted that it looked like a weak Project Runway project, and I really do still feel that way the morning after. The earrings looked cutesy, the ribbon looked sad, her hair looked too big...I love her girlish style usually, but I would have liked to see her glam it up.

So, am I way off-base? Did you have a favorite I left out (believe me, I had more, but tried to rein myself in)? Duke it out in the comments!

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