Monday, January 12, 2015

Fashion Review: Golden Globes 2015

And we're off to the races! The Golden Globes start off my favorite season of the year: awards season. So much fashion! So much disappointment! So many crying speeches!

I thought last night's show was moving slow, but reveled in my last chance to enjoy the Tina-Amy hosting era. Those girls make me proud to be a woman, for sure. Fashion-wise, we were seeing a LOT of white, silver and red, which started to get a little boring, but a few ladies stood out from the pack. Without further ado, let's dig into some celebrity fashion!

Best Dressed

Some of my favorite red carpet fashion moments ever have been when a beautiful blonde finds the perfect shade of yellow and makes it work. As soon as I saw Naomi Watts in this simple, but impactful Gucci gown, I knew this was a slam dunk. But like a girl after my own heart, Naomi understands how to have fun with fashion and that the look shouldn't begin and end with the gown, so she accented with a perfectly off-center snake necklace that made the look and possibly my night.

I have well-documented here the struggles Jessica Chastain has had with fit and style, but last night she got it alllllllll right. Her plunging liquid metal Versace dress was va-va-voom and yet still didn't seem to be trying too hard, like Kate Hudson's white Versace cut-out dress. It also seemed perfect for the era of her character in "A Most Violent Year," which takes place in 1981. I like the idea of subtly dressing like your character during an awards season, whether intentional or not.

I just think Lupita N'yongo is a goddess. She does everything the way I would do it if I were a talented ingenue. She has fun with fashion and seems to know exactly when to take a risk and what kind of risk to take. I loved her frilly Giambattista Valli, which I likely would not have loved on someone else, but seemed perfectly feminine and regal on her. I also loved the choice of wearing her hair only serves to show off that beautiful bone structure.

Emily Blunt's ensemble was perfectly Globes. Simple, fun, well-accessorized Michael Kors with turquoise jewelry and a fun braided updo, plus a strong brow ... all the ingredients for a confident look. She knew her role there and didn't overthink it, and I applaud that!

Somehow, through repetition and trickery, Hollywood has maybe convinced me I don't hate pantsuits. They can be so wrong, but when they're done right, they're SO right. I wasn't completely sold on the bow that seemed like an afterthought, but Emma Stone pulled off this Lanvin pantsuit with such amiable confidence and glamour, like she truly just pulled it out of her closet, put on lipstick and left. It seemed like a modern take on the first pantsuits on the 1920s. 

There were a lot of great silver gowns...almost too many. But the magpie in me has to give it to Julianne Moore's pure glamour Givenchy gown that's disco on top and Ginger Rogers on the bottom. She's a lifetime red carpet MVP.

Kudos must also be given to Dakota Johnson's silver gown by Chanel. The sequins look like dripping icicles, a really intriguing detail on what could otherwise be a rather boring dress. A good showing for someone who is about to blow up, for sure.

And last but not least of the silver screen vixens, Diane Kruger's Emilia Wickstead gown looks like it's made of diamonds and is tailored perfectly. A modern Grace Kelly, most definitely. Plus, she gets 1,000 points for being half of the cutest couple in Hollywood.

She didn't get much screen time but Helen Mirren came looking hot to trot, reminding everyone there ain't nothing like a dame. She has mastered age-appropriate sexy dressing, with the help of Dolce & Gabbana.

Of all the white bridal looks, Salma Hayek's quilted Alexander McQueen was the most interesting. The detail begged a closer look and gave the overall vibe of a snow queen. The metallic belt was a great choice, but the look is definitely overaccessorized.

Good, But ....

Allison Williams can do no wrong fashion-wise, but her Armani Prive was sending off seriously strong tinsel vibes on camera. Her eye make-up also appears a bit heavy for this look, in my opinion.

There's nothing really wrong with Amy Adams' ice blue Versace. It compliments her eyes. It fits great. It's draped very nicely. It's ....sorry I just dozed off there for a sec. It's a little yawn.

Anna Kendrick's ethereal Monique Lhuillier was very pretty, and she looked like a ballerina. But I thought the hair gave it a severe vibe and she didn't seem like her normal fun bubbly self. She's another person who, like Chastain, hasn't quite found the right stylist to capture her vibe on the red carpet perfectly.

Claire Danes never bores me, so she gets a lot of kudos for that. Her Valentino was very 1920s and definitely interesting, but I just couldn't call it one of the best.

Felicity Jones is the cutest and reminds me of a charming British bunny. I think her Dior is very well suited to her personality, very elegant and a beautiful fit. BUT...the pocket of fabric draped at the chest was just a very weird distraction, especially when you saw it from the side. And all in all, the buttoned-up quality of the collar felt maybe too chaste.

On camera, I was smitten with the beading and detail of Sienna Miller's Miu Miu gown, but it clearly doesn't photograph well. It seems droopy and wrinkly and the hem looks messy and the boobs don't look supported.

Taylor Schilling's clean Ralph Lauren is very nice and simple, but her hair made it feel a little severe and I think it would be nice to see her really dazzle us. She plays it a little too safe, in my opinion.

Special Congratulations for Feats of Derring-Do

I think recognition must be given to the folks who really march to their own drummer and don't entirely fall down in the process. I'm sure 99.9% of people hate this, but I feel like Jemima Kirke is kind of pulling off this deconstructed kimono of the future by Rosie Assoulin. She has just the right amount of authentic downtown cool to look like she literally just had this in her closet.

Lorde also managed to pull off a jacket and trousers with bustier and diamonds look that reminded me of "Express Yourself" era Madonna in all the best ways. She seems infinitely mature beyond her years.

Not Bad Enough to be Worst, but Not Good

It is just so hard to make an ankle-length gown look good. It makes most people look stumpy, and this dress looks especially staid and frumpy with the black accessories. You are SO much better than this, Julianna Margulies. And so is designer Ulyana Sergeenko, whose couture is usually one of my favorite shows of the year. 

It just strikes me as strange that after all this time, Lena still doesn't really seem to know what shapes work on her body. I have a sneaking suspicion she does know and just doesn't care, which is alright...I guess. Her hair color is great, though, and her make-up was grand and red is her color. So we're getting somewhere.

Amy's blue Stella McCartney was a refreshing dose of color, but seemed entirely too matronly for her.

I think I liked Rosamund Pike's Vera Wang in theory, but the construction just did her boobs NO favors. It almost looks like a paper dress glued on top of her. The cutouts needed to be less deep and the bodice needed to be real and do its job.


So apparently Keira Knightley is pregnant, but I don't think that meant she needed to wear what I called on Twitter "a child's nightie crossed with antebellum underwear." I love Chanel, but they can turn out some real crap sometimes, and I can only imagine she and her husband look super pissed because she realized she had to wear a frilly bib over a shapeless nightgown the color of dishwater. And the butterfly strap on her clutch? Fuggedaboutit.

I think that in her mind, Kerry Washington is a fearless fashionista, one of the few who can pull off anything and make even the most complicated, daring fashions work. She's delusional. This Mary Katrantzou does literally nothing good for her. The length makes her look stumpy. The chest is obviously insanely tight causing her boobs not to lift, but to pancake. The colors, paired with red velvet shoes, are just weird and the texture makes it look like the entire dress is made of recycled seatbelts at best or at worst, scouring sponges. 

Kristen Wiig is making her way into my Worst-Dressed hall of fame, one frumpy dowdy disappointment at a time. This muumuu from the Blanche Devereaux collection might have charmed the senior citizens of Miami in 1988, but it ain't doing her any favors. A lot of people online were gushing over her bob, but I thought her hair looked flat and even like it had too much product. She clearly envisions herself as a hippie bohemian who is Above All This, but there's got to be a better way to convey that.

Lana Del Ray is a beautiful girl, but lord almighty this is an epic misfire. From the Priscilla Presley hair and make-up with the Melrose Place-era brown lip to the unflattering tone of mermaid seafoam, this is just unredeemable. I think there's a way to go retro while still being glamorous.

Laura Prepon's Morticia Adams costume is perfect, but maybe she should save it for Halloween and not wear it to the Golden Globes. This dress felt way too old for her.

I know Melissa McCarthy studied fashion and it's her true passion and blah blah blah, but I'm going to need her to take a step back and really evaluate when it might be time to accept some help. This sassy schoolmarm after-hours look is just BAAAAAD. It didn't work for Julia Roberts OR Whoopi Goldberg last year and unless you're starring as Marian in a cabaret act version of The Music Man, it isn't gonna work EVAH.

Ruth Wilson's Prada gown seemed to be from the Joan Holloway Evening collection. It doesn't fit terribly well, it doesn't feel event-appropriate and even if it were knee-length, I still wouldn't wear it for anything other than as a stewardess in 1971. Not what you want to wear as a first-time winner.

My girl Tina always struggles any time she has to shed her basic black uniform. Her Antonio Berardi wasn't bothering me until I saw someone online say it looked like a bedazzled apron and I couldn't get it out of my head.The seam down the middle of the skirt also serves no purpose that I can see except to bother me.

And last but not least, Zosia Mamet perfectly complemented her silver-mauve bob with a silver-mauve gown in the ever-flattering shade of dolphin gray. I want to give her points because the Andrew Gn dress is well-constructed, but it's just not good. 

So what did you think? Let's duke it out in the comments!

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