Hooray! I am the proud mother of a baby who sleeps through the night (knock on wood), so I'm easing back into my awards show commentary to the best of my ability.
What better event to start with than the Grammys, the ultimate event in which no one knows quite what to wear. The ensemble needs to strike the right note of drama without veering into try-hard territory — unless it somehow is too delightful to ignore. Too classy is too boring. Too campy requires the confidence and stature to match. It's a tough line to walk! Here are my takes on who nailed it, shocked, awed, and merely showed up.
BEST DRESSED
In the past 20 years, we've had a bit of a red carpet renaissance. There was a time only the very most adventurous of celebs would attempt to sell couture with this level of confidence, but now it's almost a requirement of new pop stars. Some seem more natural than others. Cardi, however, sells this sculptural Guarav Gupta as though she was born in an atelier. The articulated fingers! The peekaboo eye like she's Veronica Lake! The way she leans her hips! A queen. On a night of blue gowns, hers stuck out.
At this point, I feel like the only way Harry Styles could shock me would be by wearing a standard tux. He has managed to fully bring back the greatest of the '70s glam era with such confidence and ease that no one can question it. Under no circumstances could I ever endorse this Egonlab deep square-neck Swarovski harlequin suit on literally anyone else, but on Harry, it's divine.
BEST WORST
For the uninitiated, the best/worst category is for outfits that are dancing right on the line of being absolutely fab or absolutely terrible but were presented with a level of confidence and panache that evoke pure delight.
Shania Twain has been hanging out with Harry Styles and maybe he's got her feeling frisky, because she straight up came to the Grammys in this Harris Reed ensemble like Cruella de Vil if she got a makeover from Jessica Rabbit. I can almost picture her on a Chick-fil-A billboard in this compelling us to "eat mor chikin." But you know what? If you can come out of an absolutely heinous divorce with kooky aunt energy, you should flaunt it.
GOOD
I'm giving Kacey Musgraves a B- on this one. She understood the assignment to be fun for the Grammys with her pale pink Valentino bodysuit and ostrich feather cape. But it honestly feels like something I've seen on her before, and borderline ho-hum! I would have liked to see her zig where I expected her to zag.
Lizzo certainly delivered the drama in her Dolce & Gabbana papaya floral cape, and this color is fabulous on her. It's correct for the event, but it also weirdly feels like a very very very fancy Snuggie.
Pharrell deserves more credit for paving the way for truly iconoclastic fashion at awards shows — in his gigantic Mountie hat, he truly walked so Harry Styles could run. Sunday night was no exception; he was looking a little bit Eddie Murphy 1983 comedy special in his quilted red leather tracksuit and a little bit Peggy Guggenheim in his fur and teeny tiny diamond sunglasses. Somehow it works!
MEH
BEST EARRINGS
I don't usually have a category for this, but Queen Latifah's emeralds were so eye-catching and fabulous, it had to be acknowledged. Also, it was a true pleasure to see her in her element rapping "UNITY" again. I love imagining all these CBS stars getting to relive their baddie days on the same network as their crime procedurals, shocking the seniors.
WORST
Menswear designers are trying so desperately to force brown suits back into the public consciousness, and I won't allow it, not on my watch. Jack Harlow has paired a taupe look that my Nana would have declared "serviceable" with leather driving gloves, as though he's a driver for a Russian mobster who knows at any moment he'll have to toss a body in a river. It's not terrible terrible, but it's definitely not good.
I am so ready for Maren Morris to get a really fantastic stylist (or a new stylist! Something!). She has all the makings of someone who could and should be at the next level, but I actually think her styling is holding her back from red carpet glory. She alternates between looking like a pretty Nashville princess, a Kardashian wannabe and whatever this is meant to be. I don't think her look is defined, and it comes across as weak attempts to be edgy. This Off-White ensemble is so snoozy, and the only thing making it pop is her lightened eyebrows and wet hair look, which are giving me more Laura Palmer washed up in Twin Peaks than Superstar on the Rise.