Monday, March 15, 2021

Grammys 2021 Fashion Review

 Ah, Grammy's time again. Your annual reminder that the Grammy voters have their fingers on approximately 40% of the pulse and "new" means "new to them." I tune in for the performances, but rarely agree with the awards. But in the balance, I at least get to see some high-flying fashion antics!! 

As we've discussed many times here, the fashion rules of the Grammy's are: you betta not be boring. Safe is bad. And bad is also bad. But sometimes bad is fun and that's good? I don't know; it all makes sense in my head. 

Let's review:

BEST-DRESSED




Dua Lipa's flawless performance helped cement her status as the reigning pop princess, giving us 90's nostalgia repackaged so brilliantly on "Future Nostalgia." After a year of no concerts, she was kind enough to give us three in one, complete with Versace costume changes each more dazzling than the previous. We earned this, y'all.


If you've got this body ody ody ody, who can blame you for flaunting it? On the red carpet, Dua wore what amounts to a crystal bathing suit cover up, and I like it, but as a matter of principle, I have long maintained showing the most skin you can isn't actually "fashion." HOWEVER, when I read this article about how it's a Versace tribute to late-90's pop divas Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera, well...I had no choice but to bump it up to BEST.


Harry has mastered honoring the elders who paved the way through his artful mix and match approach to style. If his Gucci leather suit is giving us Elvis '68 Comeback Special, his boa is pure Elton John and the moves? Just like Jagger. It's been so exciting to see him come into his own as a true original, while still giving these nods to the greatest of glam rock. 


Cynthia Erivo looks like an ancient queen in this silver-and-gold Louis Vuitton gown with to-die-for earrings and nails filed to kill. She has fun with fashion and it's all to our benefit. 


When I saw a shot of the small audience, I spied this look quickly and said, "Who is the duvet? Which one is the cloud?" It turned out it was Noah Cyrus, in the greatest toga party costume you've ever seen. It's by Schiaparelli, and if you know anything about the history of the house, it's a perfect example of their long-held commitment to more-is-more surreal drama. It has an air of The Queen Has Arrived, and when you really are trying to make a name for yourself beyond "little sister," that's a smart move.


We are in the cottagecore era of Taylor Swift, and I appreciate her commitment to feeding the algorithm. This Oscar de la Renta floral dress is a particularly lovely tight color palette that makes it look like a Dutch floral come to life and have you EVER seen a better shoe pairing, I mean really? 


H.E.R wore head-to-toe purple velvet fit for Prince, and I felt I could just picture him somewhere in Rock and Roll heaven asking his couturier to make one in his size. She definitely looks regal. 



Da Baby came out here like the Amadeus of rap, first in a Dolce & Gabbana floral tapestry suit, and then in rhinestone-encrusted Chanel. Da luxury! Da accessories! 


Phoebe Bridgers basically got me through quarantine, and I love her commitment to her goth chic schtick SO SO MUCH, so it's no surprise that I was fully delighted by her couture skeleton suit dress by Thom Browne. 


Lizzo looked a little bit mermaid, a little bit Diana Ross and very glam in her ruched-and-ruffled metallic confection by Balmain accessorized with jumbo glitter clips straight outta Claire's in 1997. I can picture her playing the Hollywood Bowl in this gown with a full orchestra.

BEST ACCESSORY


I genuinely love that Bad Bunny's signature style is basically Deadmau5 pigtail poms and Ali G glasses, but the best accessory of the night has to be his adorable flower. 

COVID CHIC


If all of us would have wanted to be wearing Cynthia's dress pre-COVID, we probably actually want Chika's tie-dye Nike ensemble with matching ruffled mask. Catch me in the club in this, late summer 2021. 

BEST/WORST



On the one hand, who can be mad at a tight palette of poop brown and black by Louis Vuitton? On the other hand, most of the members of BTS look great and then one has what appears to be a tiny mouse hoisting itself up a sweatshirt using the sweatshirt strings as a pulley system? And our friend on the far right has what looks like a big craft flower just plopped on there as an afterthought. Two great little head-scratching moments.

GOOD


So happy for Megan Thee Stallion, who has been one of the most hardworking women in music over the past few years. Her slit-up-to-there TK gown had the cut of Marilyn Monroe's "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" gown, but in a bright shade of orange. It's lovely, if not maybe the most original. It also frankly looked hard to walk in, and if you're going to be running up the stairs over and over to collect your awards, you need mobility.


After a year at home, I think we all can agree Billie Eilish has been onto something with her fashion dedication to stylish comfort. This finely detailed ensemble by Gucci is interesting enough to stand out, but I couldn't quite nudge it up to "best." 


Leave it to Chloe and Halle to make matchy dressing for siblings feel cool. I'm giving a slight edge to Chloe's Louis Vuitton tiger-striped ensemble accessorized with sheer elbow-length gloves and opaque thigh-high boots. 


But Halle looks just as sexy/sweet in her own Louis Vuitton dress with a regal train and headwrap. I love the subtle differences between their gown's patterns.


Your eyes do not deceive you; you have seen every variation of this gown on Jhené Aiko. It is the floofy loofah couture that Giambattista Valli made famous; this version is by Monsoori. So while this style always delivers impact, it is a bit played out. 

MEH


At first glance, I thought our friend Maren Morris was Khloe Kardashian, and apparently most of the internet did as well. It frankly bums me out. I'd like to move past the homogenous ideal of beauty presented by the Kardashians that leads people to overline their lips and smoky eye themselves to the point of being unrecognizable. Her plunging neckline lavender Dolce & Gabbana is pretty, but it feels sort of sleepy considering the occasion.


I like Finneas' honky tonk pink suit in theory but there are some distracting fit issues going on with the lapels; they look like they needed to come down in the chest maybe a couple inches to prevent that distracting gaping. 

WORST


I LOVE HAIM but this custom Prada situation made me LOL. As a group, they look vaguely like Star Trek fleet members dressed for a formal affair. As individuals, they've all got their own brand of weird going on. Left to right, Alana looks like she's serving up Mrs. Robinson mother-of-the-bride with this peekaboo shoulder; Danielle is wearing what my OB-GYN nurse hands me to put on right before my annual visit; and Esme looks like she stole this from Mary Ann Spier's wardrobe before the Babysitter's Club gave her a makeover (while ripping her sleeves in the process). As a style choice, they all opted to wear a hairstyle I call "The Awkwardest Part of Growing Out Bangs." Bless them. 


Doja Cat turned up in a fashion look that can only be described as "Black Tie Fast and the Furious Woman Who Waves the Flag at Street Car Race." But the real VIP here is double-sided tape, doing a lot of work to save Doja from herself. 


I'm not familiar with Jhay Cortez but I would like to talk to him about my missing package since I assume he does work for UPS. I appreciate that he tried to improve upon the uniform, but I fear pedal pusher-length shorts might not be it. 


Bless Miranda Lambert, but this look just isn't working on a few different levels. It's not a great fit, but even if it were a perfect fit, it's just very unremarkable, which is the greatest sin at the Grammys. That chunky platform shoe is the visual equivalent of an anvil. 

Monday, March 1, 2021

2021 Golden Globes Fashion

You'd think a pandemic is when I would really ramp up my former blogging hobby, but like everyone, my main hobby is wondering where time is going? But time does indeed march on, and here we are, back in awards season. It's still weird, and this year's Golden Globes were notably sloppy compared to even your afternoon team Zooms. It had everything: muted speeches, guest appearances by pets and kids, horrible audio and blank, bored faces. But luckily it also had some fashion for our starved eyeballs!

A few housekeeping rules: In general, I'm not going to get into outfits that got zero screen time or didn't appear on the "red carpet," as it were. It's just too easy for people to trot out a "look" on Instagram, and I have to draw the line somewhere. 

Perhaps appropriately, the fashion was a little underwhelming and maybe that's the right thing to do in a pandemic when you're Zooming from home. But we did see a few envelope-pushers, with varying degrees of sticking the landing. Shall we?

Best Dressed


It's true; I'm a hopeless sucker for bias-cut, aquamarine satin on a long-necked beauty with ballerina grace. This Gucci gown on Elle Fanning was Cinderella-meets-Atonement made ever more charming by her actual glee to share a Zoom breakout room with her fellow nominees. The real MVP here is the iridescent shimmer on her cheekbones perfectly matched to the shine of the gown.


Anya Taylor-Joy had two big projects this year that took her from "that girl from The Witch and Peaky Blinders" to an almost household name. So naturally, she had to seize the moment to dress strategically as the new It Girl and she really rose to the occasion in this classic, rich green lurex gown and cape by Dior, accented with an iconic Veronica Lake side part. The color is divine, and the stance has me begging to see her in a neo noir film. 


I love that men have embraced having fun with color and no one scored better on this front than Dan Levy in a Valentino suit with a sequined sweater in the perfect monochrome shade of quince. The pewter chunky shoes take it to the next level!


Leave it to Sarah Paulson to make a purple cast by Prada into the hottest accessory. Her off-the-shoulder tea-length gown, also by Prada, reminded me of Bette Davis' iconic evening gown in All About Eve, which feels fitting knowing Paulson was nominated for the similar-era "Ratched." The vibe is modernized by a crisp bob, a.k.a my favorite thing.


We're forever unworthy of our future EGOT Regina, taking us back to the future in Louis Vuitton. The sculpted bodice and geometric sleeves feel futuristic, but the classic mermaid silhouette is as Old Hollywood as it gets. 


It's a little predictable to wear a sparkly silver princess ballgown, but I really love the detail of the beadwork on this Oscar de la Renta on Kaley Cuoco. It looks like cascading chandeliers or starbursts, and it's a shame that detail wasn't shown on screen because it really is splendid. 


I like that Cynthia Erivo has committed to never, ever boring us on the red carpet. This Valentino is basically UFO cosplay, or a tennis ball costume, but the silhouette is pure Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face and the fabric is some kind of mesh magic neoprene that defies everything we know about gravity. It's eye-popping and yet classic, perfectly tailored and yet the absolute most impossible length to pull off. There was a time I would have hated this, but at this point, I have to applaud it. 



Gillian Anderson appeared in what I immediately deemed "Deatheater Couture," a Dior skull-emblazoned halter with a taupe skirt fit for a mummy. She is nursing a wounded heart following a breakup with Peter Morgan, creator of "The Crown" who was ALSO on the Zoom, and is there a more Leo move than to show up looking divine in a dress that's basically a threat? We have no choice but to stan.


The ingenue playbook requires an elegant silhouette, a perfect fit with some interesting detail and a knockout color, and Borat's Maria Bakalova scored an A+ in her shimmering tomato red Armani. This gown practically cc's every casting director in Hollywood: Don't sleep on me.


I'm among the many who still has not finished and may never finish Emily in Paris, a boring and mostly bad show. But I will give Lily Collins her due; she's been slaying the red carpet for many years and this 80's vixen here to steal your husband Saint Laurent gown is a whole vibe. Mega kudos to whomever got roped into producing this lookbook image for the Gram. 

Best/Worst

The best/worst category is reserved for renegades who simply must be saluted for their joi de vivre for fashion or lack thereof. These are the rebels who either come wildly dressed or wildly underdressed and yet we love them.


Cue "Send in the Clowns." Emma Corrin's mega collar by Miu Miu topped puffed sleeves that even Anne of Green Gables would think were a bit much. You'd be forgiven if you thought she'd rushed home straight from her mime school where she's studying Commedia dell'Arte. But it's...working? And honestly, I think collars are coming back in a Big Way. It only makes sense in our Zoom world where fashion is limited to whatever's visible above the clavicle. I look forward to seeing her fashion journey from here!


God help me, I'm pretty sure I'd join whatever cult Jared Leto is starting in this disco-ready Gucci tan suit, accented with a large orchid pin and the facial hair of  The Eagles' Glenn Frey at his hotness peak. Also his ombre hair was...too good. I'm concerned about myself after being INTO this.


I am also VERY INTO Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso and when he showed up basically in character in a tie-dye sweatshirt from his sister's dance studio, with his character's mustache on full display, I realized with regret that I'm also into Whatever This Is. Pandemic has made us all weird.

Good


Amanda Seyfried brought classic Hollywood glamour in her Oscar de la Renta gown. I genuinely loved this hair color on her; it felt perfectly complementary to the peachy-rose of her gown and the floral bodice. This feels safe to me and all-around good, but not a career best or breathtaking per se.


Julia Garner has the tiny precious features and skin tone of a porcelain doll, and her face is just begging to be cast in some period pieces. So it feels just and right for her to wear a twenties-inspired gown by Prada with a plunging neckline and drop waist that makes us all wonder how Amanda Seyfried was cast as Marion Davies in Mank instead of her. 


A ho-hum outfit on Nicole is still a slam dunk. This isn't the most exciting or daring thing she's ever worn (at this point, she's earned her fashion bonafides and could just start wearing sweats with her reputation intact), but the chain detail and simple cut of this halter Louis Vuitton is superb. And I love seeing curly red-haired Nicole again!


This Givenchy is not my favorite look on Gal Gadot; it's a little shapeless and I am not loving the noncommittal hem, which feels more like an accident than a design point of view. But I appreciate her willingness to share those legs with us, and it does give me 1970's Bianca Jagger vibes, especially with her perfect hair. 


This is just an ode to Jamie Lee Curtis, a walking model for probiotics, a sunshiny presence of realness on our TV screens and unabashed celebrator of cleavage in this Alex Perry. She proclaimed Jodie Foster was her "best friend" and I was immediately jealous it's not me. 


Jane Fonda debuted enviable silver locks paired with a vintage blush Richard Tyler suit, then took us to church with a moving speech that showed she is better versed on contemporary film and television than anyone at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. We're not worthy!


Put some Doc Martens with this tiny floral print Chanel dress and Margot Robbie would instantly transform into your 90's dream girl. This is The Craft chic and I do feel like it was ripped from Neve Campbell's 1996 closet.


After a few years of red carpet missteps, Salma Hayek is finding her way back into my heart. Red is her color, no doubt about it, and this classic silhouette by Alexander McQueen is both Old Hollywood and straight-from-the-disco. 


I love a chainmail look and this is one of the best gowns I've seen on Tiffany Haddish! I think her blonde buzz cut looks so good, her makeup was luminous and this Alberta Ferretti feels futuristic and classic in the best ways. It's a little bit Project Runway hardware store challenge, but I like it!


My knee-jerk reaction to any combo of dark brown and light brown and yellow and pink is disdain because it reminds me so much of the 1970's afghans that were draped across the back of every grandma's couch when I was a kid. BUT I strongly appreciate Awkwafina's sartorial chutzpah, and the sequined pattern paired with a delicate tulle trim on this Gucci suits her. It feels very Sonny and Cher, and I think she and Jared Leto could easily get a reboot greenlit from these outfits alone. 


Spike Lee's kids were the Golden Globes ambassadors this year (ironically in a year their dad was snubbed) and one has to assume they took the opportunity purely for the platform, but Satchel did deliver a great fashion moment with this moody black gown by Gucci. It feels a little medieval with its high neck and tiny beadwork, but clearly modern.

Meh


I think if I went far enough back in my archives, I'd find the "meh" category was invented for Amy Poehler and her fashion misadventures. I almost almost almost like this mod sequin mini by Moschino, but it really does give you Constable Cabaret vibes, if such a thing existed. It's mostly cute, I think. 


Full disclosure: I almost had Andra Day's Chanel dress in my "good" column! I know! I don't even know what I feel. But there's something distinctly Ariel-Makes-Couture-from-Netting-and-Sailcloth about it that makes me find it hard to love. Maybe it's the drop waist. Maybe it's the fact the intricate detailing is too fine to show up adequately on camera? Maybe it's the dishwater shade of gray? It's the rare situation where I like all the elements, but not the sum of its parts.


I think I'm probably supposed to love this Louis Vuitton look on Kate Hudson, but it doesn't really move me one way or the other. It's a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, a lot of yawn. The belt is a lot of look; the sleeves are a bit Dallas; it's all fine. 


I really want to encourage our male stars to continue to push the envelope for men's fashion, and I appreciate Leslie Odom's effort here, but I just cannot unsee his turtleneck as a green screen bodysuit. It's like he fully needed to prepare to tear off his suit at any moment to jump into a green screen bit. I like the pairing of two different shades of terracotta tweed by Valentino, but I keep picturing this with a turtleneck in the same green shade Anya wore and now I just want that. 

Worst Dressed


Yeah, I didn't know who Jo Ellen Pellman was (she's in The Prom) but this craft project gown by Jonathan Cohen Studio didn't give me high hopes. It's a series of panels knotted together, so that the ties look like leaves, and it really reminds me of those teens who win prizes for making a prom dress out of Duct Tape. Maybe it was an apropos tribute to that? But really, if this was one of the worst of the night, it wasn't a terrible night. 


Kristin Wiig loves to have fun with fashion, which I appreciate, but I rarely feel like I'm having fun with her. This mint baby doll dress is maybe the closest I've come to liking something, but it does absolutely feel like a sexy version of a dress Shirley Temple would wear while holding up a giant lollipop and tap dancing. Sexy Shirley Temple is...not the vibe.


There's just a lot I can't love about this Temperley dress on Bryce Dallas Howard. Right off the bat, I almost wish her hair was down to soften the look a bit. I felt like the dress didn't move well on screen. I don't love this use of ombre particularly. That's got to be one of the most challenging hemlines, and then the line is disrupted with a heavy shoe. The overall effect distracts from her beauty, rather than amplifies it and I want her to get a great stylist who can achieve that!


Tina has long taken up space in my "meh" and "worst" categories simply for being the most boring, consistently, for two decades. This is a Versace tuxedo dress. We've seen them before. It's fine. It's a thing she wore. As the host of this show. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.