I'm cracking up that I've barely touched this "blog" in a year beyond red carpet rundowns, but that's life in the age of Instagram, innit?
I can't remember an Oscars that felt weirder to me. After no televised Golden Globes, I *forgot* to watch the SAGs and I've watched most of the nominated films from the comfort of my own home.
Personally, "Belfast" and "Coda" brought me the most joy, "Dune" and "The Power of the Dog" were most visually stunning, and I loved the careful way Spielberg balanced updating the original material of "West Side Story." But that's not what you're here to read about. You're here for FASHION!
More than ever, it felt like the rulebook of Oscar dressing has been shredded and we are seeing more daring moments than safe. Let's see who stuck the landing.
BEST DRESSED
I never thought I'd be this delighted by pants, a bustier and a cape, but Ariana DeBose served this look up and down the red carpet with the confidence of a sure bet. You cannot go wrong in Valentino red. It was modern, sexy and yet classic.
I'd like to think Zendaya and her team were inspired by the iconic
Sharon Stone button down with a satin skirt combo — no one did high-low better than Sharon in the nineties — but this Maison Valentino version turns the heat up a notch. As always, she gives perfect face, the accessories game is unmatched and she managed to make something as awkward as a tiny satin button down with slits on the side look fantastic.
Lupita Nyong'o never, ever misses. This tinsel magic of a dress by Prada befits the glimmery goddess she is.
I love the Old Hollywood-meets-Vegas vibe of Jessica Chastain's Gucci in an unexpected color combo of copper and lilac. It had several pretty details, from the frothy ties at the shoulder to the fluffy floral ruffles at the bottom of the skirt. She accessorized with beautiful chandelier earrings and a high pony to keep it fun.
Venus came dressed like her Grecian namesake, looking like Wonder Woman in this sleek and sexy Elie Saab. I loved seeing her dazzle.
Zoe Kravitz went for classically pretty in this dusty pink column by Saint Laurent and a perfect Audrey Hepburn bang-and-bun combo. The winning accessory here is bone structure.
Truthfully, Nicole always looks good and this very formal...mushroom is not one of my favorites of her many, many spectacular fashion moments. It's fine, and on-trend. This necklace, however, is what dreams are made of. That art nouveau sprinkling of diamonds was so elegant and eye-catching, and I also love that she wore a watch!
Kodi Smit-McPhee has an otherworldly, starman look to him, so it seems only fitting that he wore this impeccably tailored Bottega Veneta suit that gives me serious David Bowie early 70's vibes. The color brings out his eyes and I can't get over the cut of that double-breasted jacket with the loooooooong waist.
Simu Liu is so charming, and he looked scrumptious in this red Donatella Versace suit with gold buttons. We've seen men become so adventurous on the red carpet, and this felt especially right.
BEST/WORST
Listen, this was genuinely a delight. I mean...Timothee is not wearing a shirt. To the Oscars. He probably couldn't enter my local grocery store without a shirt, but he was able to attend the Oscars without one. But damn, this boy can show up in a Louis Vuitton lace-trimmed, sequined cropped jacket, no shirt and a diamond necklace, looking like he's about to front an INXS cover band, and STILL look incredible.
In all honestly, I mostly hated Kristen Stewart's Chanel look, but I know the internet loved its irreverence. My beef with it — aside from the general no-effs-given of it all — is that with little tweaks, it could be so much better. I've SEEN better versions of this. I'm picturing it with an oversized tuxedo blazer and maybe sequined shorts. Maybe pick between the bed head and last night's makeup. She only wore the heels for part of the way and then switched to loafers, and I actually think that could be more fun. It just feels a little anxious to convey "I don't care about these things" and then she said the opposite in every interview. I did, however, love her
after-party look.
Wesley Snipes wore a whole lotta look, and I commend him because it's definitely not boring and I do actually love this shade of plum on him. But when you start to unpack what you're seeing, it's a little bit medieval knight, a little bit schoolboy uniform, a little bit court jester. The little flare to the shorts is almost giving me Oompa Loompa. Love him for it!
Sure as the sun will rise, Diane Warren will be nominated, will put on her signature wacky suit and booties, and trot down the red carpet only to go home empty-handed. This shade is best described as "green screen." At least she has her boom box purse!
GOOD
This Chanel gown on Penelope Cruz was just not quite hitting on all cylinders for me. I really like the bow and the cut of the halter neckline. I'm a little less sold on the Renaissance Festival bodice that feels a little incongruous with the bow, but I think it mostly works and she looked lovely.
Megan Thee Stallion wore a shimmery blue triumph of masterful pleats by Gaurav Gupta. The shade is on-trend periwinkle, the flounces feel like a teaser to her performance with the Encanto cast, and the bust fit is an engineering marvel.
Alana Haim, of "Licorice Pizza" and of course, Haim, wore an elegant and pretty scale-patterned Louis Vuitton that feels like a perfect fit with her California cool energy. It's not earth-shattering for the Oscars, but it gets the job done.
Emilia Jones, of "Coda," spends the whole film in boxy flannels and jorts so it is the right move to show up to the biggest night in film in a sexy cutout Louis Vuitton gown to put casting directors on notice. Her coral blush and lipstick are particularly perfect with this nude-and-gold look.
Catriona Balfe managed to carefully walk the line between safe and interesting in her ruffled white satin Louis Vuitton. It definitely seems like we are seeing a big resurgence of 80's ruffles, but this feels just modern enough. The real hero is that diamond bow necklace.
Every year someone has to come in full pretty, pretty princess glam and this year it's Lily James in frothy pink tulle and lace by Versace. This is a fantastic fit and her makeup was especially pretty. It seems designed to remind everyone she has played both Cinderella and Pamela Anderson — she contains multitudes.
This pleated silver Dior is a personal best for Olivia Colman. It's definitely very covered up, but it gives just enough dazzle to feel appropriate for the event and she looks lovely.
God love Rita Moreno for bringing full 60's kooky glam to the red carpet with her feathered hat. She's giving us an incredible off-the-shoulder moment in Carolina Herrera at 90. NINETY! Please let me be this woman at 90.
One of my favorite Oscars tropes is the young ingenue having her first Cinderella-at-the-Ball fashion moment. Everyone wants to feel like a princess just once, and the stars of "King Richard" both wore lovely pastels perfect for their age. Saniyya Sidney wore Armani Prive...
...while her on-screen sister Demi Singleton wore lavender Miu Miu that was elegant, young and pretty.
MEH
I was a much younger woman when I first saw Jada's Jean Paul Gaulthier gown, before the slap heard round the world. My initial reaction was that it's ... a lot. It feels more Wizard of Oz costume to me than fashion, but I can't deny the artistry of all those pintucks and ruffles. It brings drama befitting the drama.
I LOVE Tracee and I love this Carolina Herrera dress in concept, but this bust situation is no one's friend. Aside from having zero support, the dress has darts in the middle of the cups that is causing the fabric to pucker in very odd ways. That length is hard for anyone to pull off but, here, especially feels like it shortens her body. She has enough charm oozing out of her that she can pull off a sack, but in this case, she deserved better.
Kirsten Dunst looks perfectly lovely in this been-there-seen-that red ruffled dress. It's vintage Lacroix, which is fun. We have seen some variation of this motif on the red carpet of every Oscars for at least 12 years, and it's always pretty, but I would have liked to see something a little more special for her.
Marlee Matlin is a babe, and I actually thought this Monique Lhuillier seemed a little mature for her. Don't get me wrong, she looks gorgeous and I love her Old Hollywood waves. The savior to keep this from being too boring is the beautiful blue necklace.
This Gucci Victorian duvet on Billie Eilish was probably very, very comfortable. I hope this is what Ketanji Brown Jackson wears when she takes her seat on the Supreme Court, because these are the most dramatic judge's robes I've ever seen.
I really found myself adrift trying to decide how to feel about David Oyelowo's busy yellow suit. It's interesting, for sure. Is it good? I don't know. Is it bad? I also don't know. It is meant to look like a field of sunflowers in tribute to Ukraine? Let's hope so.
WORST DRESSED
Not every first-time nominee would have the guts to tell their hairstylist, "I want Robyn's haircut but with more of an uneven edge and I want it to be the exact color of Kraft mac and cheese," and then tell their make-up artist, "I'm going for washed out," and then choose from the rack a wrinkly satin nude gown. It's a real color story and that story is about a person who is very ill after a night out in Stockholm.
Maggie Gyllenhaal really tested me with this Schiaparelli couture. I know a lot of folks on Twitter had a field day with the austere straight lines of it, but I'm more distracted by the gold blobs that feel like a Rorschach test. I see: an elephant trunk, crossed fingers, flowers, a cat, a fortune cookie. Like, genuinely, what does it all
mean. Are they supposed to be shapes, or amorphous gold thingies? Make it make sense.
There's fashion, and then there's skin for skin's sake, and Halle and Chloe Bailey have seemingly been out to prove they are Women now for a while. Believe me, we get it. As actual designs, these dresses feel like something sold on the racks of whatever weird "going-out" club clothes store your mall had in the nineties.
