Oscars 2013: What I Would Wear

It's Oscars week! That means somewhere in Hollywood, stylists are trying to convince their clients to make a choice, waiting for emergency expedited packages from Milan, poring over cases of diamonds and preparing to sew actresses into their gowns. It's so much easier choosing a dream fantasy outfit from the comfort of my couch. For the third year in a row, here are my picks for what gowns I'd wear if I were going to the big show.

If I Were... A Nominee's Date

I'd wear this delicate Monique Lhuillier gown, which doesn't threaten to steal the spotlight, but won't look bad if it just happens to grab a little bit of it. 

I'd add a little shine with antique Victorian moonstone and diamond earrings, with delicate little hearts, from Doyle & Doyle.

If I Were ... A Starlet Invited for the First Time

I'd wear something a little edgy, sexy but still glamorous. I might have Jason Wu add some extra layers of tulle to make this night sky dress a bit more dramatic. I would also keep my makeup soft and pretty, with a slightly smoky eye...think Natalie Portman does edgy.

I'd keep the jewelry modern and interesting and — key word — unexpected. A labradorite ring by Mayet would be just the thing.

If I Were ... A Presenter

I'd grab attention with Monique Lhuillier's art deco beaded long-sleeved gown. It's delicate and a little tough at the same time, and would move beautifully. The key, obviously, would be perfect shapewear. 

Taking a cue from Lhuillier's runway, I'd wear modern and eye-catching malachite earrings, maybe wearing my hair in a low bun or chignon.

If I Were ... A Grand Old Dame

If I'm Meryl Streep, who loves long sleeves and has a lovely decolletage, I'd be all over this Valentino gown, which has a hint of sexiness and is almost regal. 

Something so regal deserves beautiful antiques, like these 19th-century pearl and mine-cut diamond earrings.

If I Were ... A First-Time Nominee

I'd soak up every bit of the Hollywood-ness of the experience and go retro with this beautifully cut Zac Posen gown. The color isn't the easiest to pull off, but it could be glorious. I'd trade the goth make-up shown on the runway for sun-kissed bronzes and apricots and maybe do my hair kinda like this:

I'd wear gilded earrings, like these Julius Cohen sparklers from 1st Dibs.

If I were ... Nominated Before, But Favored to Win

Let's say I'm a certain actress with a short gamine haircut, a tiny waist and voice like a bird, I might be willing to take a serious risk on a dress fit for Scarlett O'Hara. The cut and billowy skirt of this Ulyana Sergeenko gown is so classicly beautiful, yet sexy. The color is daring, and it's fun to really make a lesser-known designer's name known in every household. 

I'd pair it with an elegant, unique Victorian diamond necklace and simple makeup.

OR, if I'm a young starlet, also on my second nomination but much more famous this time around and really well-liked by everybody, I might wear this: 

Marchesa is cliche for awards shows, but it's for a reason. They're just the best at girly fantasy drama gowns. I love the cut of this hot pink gown, which makes it look both modern and like classic 1950s Dior or Balenciaga. Plus, pockets? Sign me up.

Fuschia and a teal-green always look magnificent together. And on a young girl, jewelry doesn't need to be fussy or uptight, but should be elegant. This T.B. Starr necklace or something like it would be perfect.

So, what do you think? Last year, at least one of my gown choices ended up on the telecast, but it was on the body of George Clooney's date rather than a nominee. Would any of these land me on your worst dressed list?