Chocolate Sugar Cookies

I saw this recipe for Brownie Roll-out Cookies on Smitten Kitchen and was immediately consumed with a feeling of what 30 Rock's Liz Lemon calls "I want to go to there."

In one bowl, I mixed flour, baking powder and salt.

In the other, I mixed together a heart attack: two sticks of butter, one salted and one unsalted, along with two eggs, a ludicrous amount of sugar and...

Unsweetened cocoa. As a child, I once tried to make chocolate milk with unsweetened cocoa. It was incredibly horrible and beyond my comprehension. I seriously didn't know where I had gone wrong. Hershey should consider this with their packaging.

I mixed the butter mess and then slowly added the flour mixture. The dough got so thick. I seriously got an upper arm workout from trying to mix this dough; I thought my hand mixer would start smoking at any moment.

When finished, I rolled the dough up in plastic wrap, which looked like the biggest, most frightening, toilet-clogging turd ever. EVER.

I popped the giant turd in the freezer for an hour, at which point I attempted to roll it out onto my floured counter. This was a disaster. I got dough stuck to my rolling pin; what was I supposed to do?! Eventually I flattened it with my hands and went to town cutting out cookies.

Cookies! Because of my uneven cutting skills, some were thin enough to be crackers and some were thick enough to be scones.

And then my whole kitchen looked like the runs. (Why do I seem to so often compare cooking to poop? That is gross, yet true.)

Ta-Da! Chocolate sugar cookies. The thin, crackery ones tasted like chocolate Teddy Grahams. The thicker ones tasted like less flaky brownies. They're good, but I didn't have the Proustian experience Deb at Smitten Kitchen had. I am, however, looking forward to smearing ice cream between two of these and having homemade ice cream sandwiches.